A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, i need your help, its a long story but i'll try to cut it short.basically i fell in love with this guy and i thought the feeling was mutal. He just seemed to shy to say, afew things happened but i still didnt say anything and when i eventually did he told me he didnt feel that way for me. I accepted this we didnt let it affect our friendship or anything. We werent the best of friends anyway, even throughout the whole me liking him thing (and thinking it qwas mutal) he was strange to the point where when we all went out at night he wouldnt talk to me like the others, sometimes he would other times he wouldnt. he was even weirder at other times when he wouldnt sit with me. it made me feel really awkward, i didnt know what to do for the best, people alweays put it down to him being shy but i always had my doubts. No matter what he said we were good friends and i guess in a way you could say we were, we had many good times together. It made no difference that i had admitted my feelings as i knew he already knew and it made no difference. nothing chnaged so please dont think that that is the reason this situation has esculated.A while back he did seem to change, hes done it before, changed to fit in with others, nothing major people do it, just a fact of life but i always knew the real him. But he really did change though at one point and started acting like a twat, doing stuff he was alwyas against like smoking, and choosing his mates that are seriously b*****y over the people like us. He admitted this and saw he was wrong. He sent us(me and our friends that he was out with on this particular night) a text appologisin which by this time i;d had enough and told him not to appologise as he always treats me like that anyway. Also for quite a while now hes been moaning about stuff i do, but not to me, to others! Hes said before he wants to talk to me but i dont talk to him, yet when i do i egt nothing back. Also he told one of his friends about me who i do not know but i found out from a mate of mine that was with them one night that she says i "stalk" him and he shouldnt be hanging round with me, he was also on the phone to ehr one night whilst i was there and she asked if i was with him, but he wouldnt tell me who she was, he just said i knew her. It freaked me out since i dont get why his mates that dont even know me know about me. Which i dont because ive found out who she is. And yes they are JUST FRIENDS.Anyway to cut to the chase, i'd had enough i stupidly started an arguement with him over text and he just didnt seem bothered and didnt seem to care. he text me the next morning saying he was sorry for saying what he did, I'm a really nice person and he doesnt know why he treats me differently but he admits hes in the wrong. He told me he hates loosing people and its ashame it.s come to this but he guesses its time to go our seperate ways. We then texted abit and i told him i just wanna know why he;d said stuff about me and wishes it hadnt come to this. he told me he didnt want us to fall out but what can we do? Ever since then i've tried to talk to him but he just wont talk to meIm so messed up a part of me thinks he does care and this is his way as i know from previous experience he hates confrontation but in another way i think is that his way of trying to get rid of me in the nicest possible way?None of it makes sense, just to throw 3 years of friendship away like that is awful, i do think theres more behind this. But i also dont see why he wont just tell me what the problem is if he doesnt want to be friends anymore. I've left it a week and just carried on but i just want to know why. Its going to be hard not to see each other as we have the same friends etc but i deserve to know. I dont want to leave it till its to late to try and sort this, even if we arent friends, just to get an answer. He wont even argue it out with me he wont talk about it or anything. What can i say to make him talk to me? I dont wanna run out of time here.Thankyou and sorry for the length. Btw please dont assume that i wanna be more than friends with him, i dont after all this i just want our friendship back and want answers to why i've been so messed up for the past few years because its got pretty bad.
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fell in love, shy, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2010): He has told you he is not interested, so leave him alone.
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (6 October 2010):
 I don't think even he knows why he treats you that way. But, if he is a good person, he will try hard to find a way to change. I'm afraid all you can do get on with your own life, if he decides that he wants to be a friend in your life again, so be it but if he treats you wrongly again, you have to tell him and make it clear that he has to keep searching for that change.
I hope that helps.
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