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He is waaay too clingy for me!

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 February 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 9 February 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, *aiti30 writes:

Ok so my bf for 3 months almost 4, hes getting a little clingy, and i dont blame him. i use to be clingy, but i mean i wouldnt have a problem with it if it wasent constant. he says i love you waaay to much, i try to give him hints that i need space, but if i tell him i need a break he crys and asks "are you breaking up with me" and I feel guilty so we neevr end up taken breaks. Its to the point where i talk to other guys when i should be texting him. And when were on the phone "which is all the time past nine during weekdays, and all the weekend" and if i say "we talk to much" he feels like i dont love him, and then he needs to be reassured... I dont know what to do. Can this be fixed? or is it a either leave or be miserable thing?

View related questions: a break, I love you, text

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (9 February 2010):

The only reason he will have no friends is because as soon as a girl comes along he cuts off all contact with them and follows her round like a pathetic puppy instead.

Tell him to call his old mates up and if he says he doesn't have any then tell him to go and find some.

Everyone has friends. Everyone NEEDS friends. It's not healthy for him to be obsessed just with the girl in his life. Tell him to get on facebook and start asking people if he can come round and play Halo with them for a few hours.

Good Luck!! xx

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A male reader, Griffo Australia +, writes (9 February 2010):

Griffo agony auntNo friends? thats bullshite he tells.

It sounds like you've done a fair bit already. Id lay it straight out in plain english and tell him: If he does not give you some space you will break up with him. Too much sugar makes your teeth rot.

He needs a reality check.

Try not to answer the phone for a few days or try not to take his calls untill you are ready to speak with him again.

If he's still too persistant and ignores your wishes then speak with your parents about what you should do because it could get out of hand for you and he could end up scaring and stalking you withought him realising what he is doing. He may think its normal but it's not at that point. speak with your mom or dad. They can be your good friends in these type of circumstances.

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A female reader, kaiti30 United States +, writes (9 February 2010):

kaiti30 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

kaiti30 agony auntits to the point where everything he does annoys me... he says things i love to hear to much, so they lsoe their meaning, and he knows this he does it for 2 days then starts again... sometimes i wanan throw the phone against the wall... thats how bad its getting

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A female reader, kaiti30 United States +, writes (9 February 2010):

kaiti30 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

kaiti30 agony auntbut then if i tell him to go hang out he goes into the whole "i have no friends"

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A male reader, Griffo Australia +, writes (8 February 2010):

Griffo agony auntWhy the hell give him hints!!! ? !!!

Just say the words! words always speak louder than actions or hints.

Simply say to him: "Don't be upset by what I want to say here. I really like you too [Name] but its just getting a little too clingy, dont you think? So can we resort to seeing each other once per week? No phone calls, no messages, Just meet up once per week at [Location]."

But you must understand if he messages you to organise another location if he cant make it or if you can't. Just make the same plan for the next week. You will find that it will relaease all the pressure and you will feel much better. you will start to miss each other.

Good luck.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (8 February 2010):

You need to give him a kick up the bum but that's the only way he will learn. You don't need to break up over it.

You just need to tell him to give you space and go out with his mates instead of calling you.

Tell him to go on a boys day out, so you can spend some time with your girls.

Once he hangs out with the guys who will take the piss out of him if he starts blubbing, he might man up a bit.

Boys get like this and turn into cuddly wuddly little teddies which they think we love, when what we want is the manly guy we first met and liked.

Good Luck!! xx

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