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He is such a flirt and it tears me apart...

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 January 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 21 January 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, *esben writes:

Well I am 20 years old and I have a 4 year old son and a 23 year old boyfriend. I am 13 weeks pregnant with his baby, high risk pregnancy. We live with his mom and step dad cause we are both unemployed. Well anyway my boyfriend has cheated on me a few times within the last 5 years I have been with him on and off.

Last time was in July that I know of. The last few months I have been keeping up with him on his myspace. He doesn't know I know his password. He likes to talk to all these girls that he says he knows from "school". He flirts with them and talks about me to these girls. Saying how horrible of a person I am and lazy I am. And these girls have his back and baby him. He likes to talk dirty to them and have them flirt back.. And he acts like he wants to hang out but he never does. It brought me to this website because today he was flirting with a 13 year old that lives in a different website. It hurts me so bad that he continues to persue these relationships with woman (and girls) but I dont know if this relationship is worth saving or not. I need some advice as to how to approuch this situation. He sits there and points the finger all the time at me like I am a lying cheat. I haven't done as much as look at another man and it tears me apart that he does this!! Please help

View related questions: cheated on me, flirt, myspace

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A female reader, Jesben United States +, writes (21 January 2010):

Jesben is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well I really do appreciate your answers.. See my son was from a short relationship with a different man from when we weren't together for a while. I didn't think that my boyfriend could ever have kids due to cancer from when he was 2. So this came as a huge shock to me! Otherwise I would have taken those extra precautions. I strongly disagree with abortions. I have had a still born at 7 months and I think every child is a blessing. I am used to working but I don't even think it's an option this pregnancy. But thAnk you so much!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2010):

Hi,

It sounds like you're involved in a very difficult situation that is going to be hard to get out of if you so choose. Pregnant, living with your young child and unfaithful boyfriend in his parent's home? That sounds unbearable. From what you say, your boyfriend is still very much a child himself and when you give birth, you will ultimately have three children to look after. Your boyfriend has no job? He is having inappropriate contact with other women and young girls online? He lives with his parents/does not provide for you? He slanders you? What inspires you to stay with him. It seems you would be better off alone, collecting child support. You cannot have very high self esteem or self respect to be involved in a situation like this. Life is hard, and I sympathize with you because I know that if you felt good about yourself and your actions, you would not be in this position. I think that if I were you, I would do two things. I would find and attend al anon meetings and get a job. I would save enough money to get a small place of your own, or move in temporarily with your own parents or friends until you get your feet on the ground. You may not believe this deep down, but you deserve to be loved. You deserve to have a faithful, honest, caring, and respectful man in your life. And although you may think you will never get that now, you don't know what the future holds if you put one foot in front of the other and concentrate on doing the next right thing. It is never easy extracting yourself from a situation in which you have grown accustomed, but you can be happy if you stay strong and I believe, close to God.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2010):

In no particular order:

Consult with a doctor regarding whether you should continue your high risk pregnancy.

Dump him.

Move back in with your family and make him pay for child support.

Seriously ask yourself if you want to raise your children with a lazy, cheating, lying pedophile. When a man is flirting with children (13 year old girl!) you are dealing with a pedophile regardless of what lies he may tell you.

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