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He is my FWB and now he tells me that he cares for me and likes my company, what's that about?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 June 2011) 9 Answers - (Newest, 28 June 2011)
A age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hey Cupids,

I've been having this friend with benefits for nearly 6 months now. We meet twice a week, watch a movie, have dinner or lunch, we talk a lot and basically have a good time- with some sex involved.

I'm a little confused though because today as we were talking, just out of the blue, he said he cares for me a lot and that he'd love to see me just to be in my company, which he loves, even if there was no sex involved. What on earht does that mean? Isn't this confusing? It was all so nice and smooth... then boom, this big enigmatic sentence. Any ideas?

View related questions: friend with benefits

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A female reader, chocoholicforever United States +, writes (28 June 2011):

maybe he wants to go beyond FWB and explore having a real relationship with you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2011):

Sorry but, in my opinion, it means nothing. I don't think it means he secretly has feelings for you or that he wants more than a FWB thing. It was either something he just said to be nice or he just likes your company.

Hey, i could be wrong but i always see women who make a huge deal out of one thing a guy says when they're in a FWB thing. Don't get your hopes up.

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A female reader, Y_v United Kingdom +, writes (27 June 2011):

Y_v agony auntBasicly the problem with having a FWB is that if you both enjoy it soo much for an amount of time, one of you is going to realise that they are falling in 'love'. And it just happens to be him.

It all depends whether you would want the same. And also distiniguishing the difference between FWB and BF...

some may say it is obvious, but quite often it's not :/

Some say that one of the most noticeable difference is- Commitment.

If you talk to him and ask him directly wether he wants to keep it as it is OR if he wants u to commit to him then you will find out where you both stand. It most definately is about finding that happy medium! And you can do that by simply talking to him truthfully.

Hope this helps in SOME way :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2011):

I would say try not too read too much into what this man said, it saves you getting hurt.

Unless he actually sits down and has an honest convo about what he wants and where he wants the two of you to go, otherwise take it that he simply enjoys your company.

If he does continue to give you mixed signals though and you find it frustrating do pull him up on it and ask him what exactly does he want?

Good Luck.x

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A female reader, sammy1986 United Kingdom +, writes (27 June 2011):

hi this sounds to me he is developing feelings for you if he says he would like to see you with no sex involved he likes you if you like him the same way tell him if not just pretend you hadn.t heard him good luck

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A female reader, RedAthena United States +, writes (27 June 2011):

RedAthena agony auntYou have'nt mentioned if this declaration of feelings ruins the arrangement for you.

He likes you enough to have a completely platonic relationshp with you. Quite a compliment. Maybe he is telling you it is NOT just about sex after all, but he has not said he is interested in the possibility of a relationship.

Usually in a FWB, having feelings for the person complicates things and sends lots of mixed messages. What would be the most ideal situation for you?

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A male reader, freeme United States +, writes (27 June 2011):

freeme agony auntI think its his way of saying, that you mean much more to him and that, while he might love the sex, doesn't need that to feel complete in your presence. I would take it as a compliment.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (27 June 2011):

The only person you can ask is him. It could mean that he feels more strongly for you than you realize, or it could be that he sees you as a great friend. But the only one who can tell you is him. So I'd say ask him if you want to really know.

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A female reader, jesca86 United Kingdom +, writes (27 June 2011):

jesca86 agony auntI think that's lovely!!! As you have been friends first, you have been your true and natural self and he has fallen for that!!

Friendship is a solid foundation for a relationship that is destined to go far and you are really lucky to have found that ...... providing you feel the same of course!

Maybe take a step back and have some time to think of what benefits this may have and what negative effects.

You may be afraid of ruining your friendship but once you've crossed that line and had yourself a FWB its pretty safe to say that any chance of a normal friendship is out the window.

So my advice would be....... throw all caution to the wind and jump in there feet first - you have nothing to lose and it might just be the best thing that's ever happened to you ;-)

good luck!!!!

xo xo

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