A
female
age
41-50,
shamickey
writes: I have been in a relationship for ten years with this guy who is a pathological liar. He treats me good in that he pays all my bills and takes care of my son financially. His problem is that he bad mouths me to everyone and his family hates me, currently they think we have split up. I have found out so many of the things he tells me is lies the only thing I have never heard is that he cheats. I think he cant tell the truth probably because he was sexually molested as a preteen by his mothers (male best friend Carl). I have heard that his mother Vindra knew about this and did not do anything. The family is very different than any family I have ever met. Also, he has ruined my mothers, brothers and my credit due to him being in the real estate business we signed for him to get homes and make big commission the term is Strawbuyers anyway the market flipped so did his sales and he stopped making payments. Between my mother, brother and myself there was 18 properties so our credit is shot. He currently went back to his country, Trinidad trying to get business but I think because of his family, he has to show them he is not with me to prove a point. I dont know what to do I am currently not working, and looking for work ,however, before he left to go back on one of his trips to Trinidad, he took my passport and greencard so I am in process of getting a replacement greencard for work. I am trying to get my own independence back and start my life over, however because of my current bills I depend on him. I don't know how much longer this can go on. In the past ten years now that I look back I see that this person did everything to destroy my selfesteem and self worth. How do I move on and get past this .
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best friend, liar, move on, split up Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, birdynumnums  + ♥, writes (29 January 2008):
 I think that some women never give up trying to fix broken things, mother weak people and are attracted to bad boys. You should not care what other people say, especially considering that he and his family deal in half-truths.
Recognize that you only have control over your own life. Everything else is out of your hands. Be selfish and strike out on your own.
A
female
reader, shamickey +, writes (29 January 2008):
shamickey is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am sure he took my passport and greencard so that I could not go to Trinidad for a while there is a waiting period. I did file a police report but I could not accuse him per a attorney unless I actually saw him. I understand everything has its pitfall but I a slowly trying to get out of the mess some of my friends tell me just to set my own goals. My son is not his my son is 17 and he has never done anything to my son. Sometimes I think Vindra wanted him to be gay so that she could be the only woman in his life. Is it possible for a mother to be that way. She is a very underhanded mother I am trying to be strong about everything that is going on and trying to stay strong for my son who has one more year of high school. I really did love this person but I have come to realize that this is not love. People tell me he talks about me so bad especially now that finances went sour and he is currently trying to set himself up in Trinidad. Even with his business partners here he has wrecked havoc and lies on them. I feel sympathy for him for what he went through as a child when Carl the mothers best friend molested him I told him to confront this man before he molest any more of the family members he currently has one brother Barry and he is in a wheelchair and the mother uses him as a pawn for him to feel sorry for them it is so much the family was here for four months last year and my life was pure hell our life stopped we stopped doing anything together then when they finally left to go back to Trinidad, Princess Town he went with them and came back and people started telling me he told people we broke up. I think he is doing this for his family sake and to possibly make it seem like it is all my fault that the finances dropped. I have been trying to understand why a person lies so much and for the life of me it is hard.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums + ♥, writes (29 January 2008):
Honey, you have been a party to your own downfall, heck you were a willing participant and dragged in the rest of your family. He send you a HUGE amount of red flags and you just went along with it all. In any "Get Rich Quick" scheme, there is always a downside. There is no such thing as a free lunch - If it sounds too good to be true, it is. People who have money and property have worked hard and made sacrifices for it, it's got nothing to do with luck. If you continue seeking the path of least resistance - well what can I tell you.
Could you be with a worse person? Why on earth would he take your passport? If he's selling it on the blackmarket, that's adding criminal offenses to what he has already done. Wow, I would not have him near my child. Is he the child's father? If he isn't, you should cut off all ties with this man and get a job. You need to stand up on your own two feet and set a good example for your child. Children don't do what we say, they do what we do, and your child is learning by watching you.
Contact your embassy or government office and let them know that your documents were stolen so that they can put a flag out on your passport. Get a new one.
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