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He hurt me on purpose... but I still can't get over him. Help!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 January 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 18 May 2019)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I used to go out with this guy just over a year ago for 2 weeks, but I broke up with him because there were no feelings from my side. I didn't want to lead him on to like me even more and then get him hurt even more in the future so I left without giving him a reason, we didn't talk after that. Then a year later he came back, and asked for me back, I did miss him during that year when we had no contact so I agreed to get back with him, eventually I found that I had fallen for him.

Hhe meant the world to me, then after about 5 months he disappeared without saying anything, leaving me shattered and I didn't hear anything from him for many months. 3 months later I met his friend and told him to return the gifts that my boyfriend gave to me back to him, but he didn't take it, he went back and obviously told my boyfriend that i was tryin to return his gifts, then 2 days later my boyfriend texed me askin if i wanted my stuff back which i gave to him, I said no, because I was only returning his stuff as it reminded me of us.

But I couldn't throw it away because he gave it to me and I still loved him, after he told me that he owed me for what I did to him when we first got together he left to get me back for what happend a year back. He said he wasn't happy to take revenge on me but he needed to make me feel how it feels like to be left, he said I broke his heart back then but I don't understand, we were together for 2 weeks, and during that time we met like twice, how can you fall for someone in that amount of time?

What I done was nothing compared to what he did - he knew how much I loved him yet he hurt me deliberately, he knew I was waiting to have sex with someone who I was in love with and who loved me to, and yet let me have sex with him, I feel what he did was out of order, but I still love him despite that, he told me that what we had was beautiful and he's gonna miss it, he told me to keep the gifts because I'm the only girl that ever got them and they mean alot to him, they why would he give something that means alot to him to someone who means nothing to him?

I know that he has strong feelings for me, but his ego and pride got the better of him, so I don't know what to do, I know I'm never going find any one quite like him, but he hurt me delibrately, even though he says he's not happy for doing so he still made me cry. I think of everything he's ever said to me and wonder if it was all to bulid up how much I get hurt in the end. I'm going to go and see him pretty soon to sort this out, and I know we are going to talk about getting back together, but I don't understand if I should get with him, he hurt me on purpose, but I can never get over him - what should i do??

View related questions: broke up, revenge

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2019):

I have the same problem. I was ignored as a child and also in my marriage, and then he died. I feel it is just another way of ignoring me. I am so angry. What can I do?

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A female reader, AgonyAnne United Kingdom +, writes (20 January 2010):

What you did to him was pritty sad, he loved you and betrayed his trust and just walked out.

If you love him give it another go, but if you betray a second time he's gonna throw you out for the count.

Good Luck :)

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (20 January 2010):

When a guy hurts you like this on purpose, he's just not worth it. A boyfriend is supposed to be in your life for good reasons. And sometimes there will be arguments. But a boyfriend isn't supposed to deliberately hurt you. He's not worthy of you.

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