A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I bumped into this old classmate of mine about two months ago. He started calling me and we started going out on a regular basis. After a while, we started calling each other every day and going out almost always together. After about a month of going out, giving me the looks, making some naughty comments etc he kissed me and the week after that we had sex. He was then away for a few days but he called me almost every day. He came back and we went for dinner. He gave me the looks and he said that next time he goes away he will take me with him. But he didn't kiss me or anything. Following day again, he called me, we went out, he was touching me etc but no actual move and he didn't ask me to go back to his. Yesterday we talked on the phone, he asked me out again but I couldn't make it. Today he is away for a few days. I am confused. I can tell that he likes me, otherwise he wouldn't be calling me so often, but why not kiss me or make a move after that? Are we just friends?? Or is he slow on the moves? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (13 December 2010):
 Then why not say "lets try dating" instead of lets be friends. That's a major mixed signal. On one hand you're having sex, on the other you're talking about just being friends. If his problem there was the morality, then you just made the moral dilema worse.
Tell him how you feel. Confess that you didn't want to scare him off, but that you were really hoping to be more than friends and see how dating would go. Apologize for sending mixed signals and be straight with him.
Guys are pretty simple on some levels. One of those levels is communication. You tell us something and we believe it. We don't do the whole mind reader thing of trying to figure out what you really meant unless we are really good at reading women. Most of us aren't. When talking to a man, especially about emotional/relationship stuff, say what you mean and mean what you say. Yes, it really is that simple.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk, here's an update cause I am still confused. We had sex again and after that we still kept calling each other every day, went out together, but he wouldn't make a move. So i asked him if we are friends, if he sees me as a friend. He said no, he never did see me as a friend, but it's complicated. He said that when it happened (sex), he wasn't emotionally ready for me, that he always follows a plan and that wasn't part of it and that the moral thing for me is not to have sex again for now. But at the end he said he is really attached to me. I played cool and said, ok, let's be friends then. Since then, he only calls me every two days, the first time we talked I was cool and he sounded down but he called me again but he didn't ask to meet up. It's been a week since the talk. What do I do? I am madly in love...
...............................
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (22 November 2010):
After rushing to sex like you did, he may be trying to prove he's into you for more than just sex. A lot of guys fear that girls will think we're just after them for sex because there are a lot of players out there. To a genuine guy, this would be a way to show you he's interested in you for more than just sex. He could also be waiting to see if you'll make a move. He initiated once, he might be waiting to see if you were interested enough to make a move yourself to show that mutual attraction. Next time you're together, kiss him and see how he reacts.
...............................
|
