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He has trouble having sex! Should I give up on the relationship?

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Question - (25 July 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 26 July 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

We been dating 5 months, he is only 25. He feels like having sex every day or every other day is too much for him. He has been losing his erection lately and has admitted to me his body can only do it 1/2 times a week. His last relationships were this amount and he was happy even if it was just once a week or less but one relationship sex happened more but only when he was drunk (wtf) A month before he tried to tell me about having sex less, he said about wanting our relationship to be more about us then just about sex and of course I had no ideal what he was going on about and couldn't believe a straight man was telling me about working on the emotional side of our relationship then the physical, when we talked all the time anyway. Anyway today it came out as he couldn't get hard again. I always had a gut feeling he is bisexual/gay. I just do not understand how a straight man just cannot have sex. Their is nothing physically wrong with this guy apart from MENTALLY. He also said he just pleasure me when I come round. Its like he's only having sex to please me, not him. Oh this is my first relationship, I am seriously confused and don't understand. I feel like giving up on this relationship?

He also told me when he was without a partner he didn't care about sex. He doesn't masturbate much either

View related questions: drunk, erection

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A male reader, RAINORFIRE United States +, writes (26 July 2010):

RAINORFIRE agony auntHOld up whattt... wow its obvious your young and at this stage in life sex is the big to do...

"he said about wanting our relationship to be more about us then just about sex and of course I had no ideal what he was going on about and couldn't believe a straight man was telling me about working on the emotional side of our relationship then the physical"

He probably said that because he likes you and isnt just trying to get in your pants like many would.

"I just do not understand how a straight man just cannot have sex."

Gay men probably have more sex then straight men because men are more promiscuous and sexually driven in general and dont have to worry about getting pregnant etc.

secondly every guy is different but as most men get older there sex drives go down.. plus there's factors of stress and other things that can cause a strait man not to want sex or unable to keep an erection which is different from not wanting sex.

To me it sounds like this guy really likes you but your to immature and self centered to appreciate it,, all you care about it sex.. "Its like he's only having sex to please me" whats wrong with that he should be trying to please you if he cares about you..

On another note you need to be sure hes not sleeping with others then coming over to you,,, not be able to maintain an erection could mean hes getting it in somewhere else.

Any way you dont seem compatible with this guy maybe he has a strong feminine side and you want a more manly man or a guy that just wants to sleep with you and could care less about you... I dont know but sounds like its time to move on

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A male reader, RaNdiZasTer United States +, writes (25 July 2010):

So let me ask you this: How much sex do you need? it sounds like you need it atleast 4-7 times a week. That is great, that is hot, you need to talk to my girlfriend about that. I am currently going through your same predicament. For me, it's been a 2 year relationship with bad sex. Now I feel stuck. If he doesn't satisfy you sexually now, he's not going to satisfy you in 10 years, or 20 years, or ever! And the point of dating people, ideally, is to find a partner for life. do you want to be sexually frustrated for the rest of your life? i think the answer to your question is obvious. why date the baby boy when you clearly need a man?

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