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female
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*inkerbell73
writes: Pregnant and partner has changed, would love an opinion please?I am 32 weeks pregnant in a high risk pregnancy. I cant live with my partner as he works away from where I live and originally he has promised to come to where I live, but says he cant cope with the travelling 60 miles there and the same back. He has changed so much and it is hurting me so much. I have dealt with this pregnancy on my own. Some weeks I am lucky to see him one or two nights a week and finding it hard. He expects me to move to where he lives, but I have a 6 year old from a previous relationship who I dont want to take out of school and I need the support of my family because of my health issues. He says he loves me, but I dont know anymore. He told me whilst we are still living apart the baby is my "problem" and he always used to rush to see me but doesnt anymore. Final straw came this week when he sais he dont want to have sex, cos of the baby but I feel its more personal. I am making myself ill, thinking he is seeing someone else and the worse part is I just cant talk to him about how I feel without him being defensive. I cant stop crying. He has changed so much and I think that is what is hurting me the most. I just dont know what to do. My parents are dissapointed in him, I just think the whole commitment thing is scaring him and now I am pregnant we are not "convenient" anymore :( any advice would be welcomed, thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2006): It's hard when men change and you feel rejected, that is the worse part. Not knowing why either. My boyfriend changed and decided he didn't want to be with me and I didn't make him happy. I did everything thing in my power to make him happy, but he just didn't want to be with me. I know the hurt you feel and the love you have for this guy. It does hurt alot. I have a 15 month old son with this guy. If I knew this would happen to me I would have left him when I was pregnant.Everything will be okay, focus on your health and your baby. You can put a stop to the hurt. I know that it's so easy for everyone to tell you it will be okay, but you know with time it will be. I wish you the best but remesometimes things always happen for a reason. I hope you have a healthy baby that will bring you all the joy in the world.
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reader, Rainee  +, writes (15 September 2006):
 Wow, what an ass. Honestly, my dear, many women before you have faced the same problem, any many more will after you. You have to be strong, for yourself and for your baby. Forget the idiot--he doesn't love you! Any man worth his salt will do what it takes to make his pregnant woman happy and healthy, and he clearly is not doing that. A lot of men run from the responsibility of children; just be sure that once you have your baby to get child support--it's harder to run from the law! The "not his problem" isn't going to fly with the courts, and shouldn't fly with you.
Goodluck
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female
reader, uonlyliveonce  +, writes (15 September 2006):
 ive been through a pregnancy alone and it wasnt easy but its harder for you because you dont know where you stand with him and your emotions are being thrown back n forward.
you've come this far near enough on your own so for know just focus on your baby and get through the rest of the pregnancy some men dont want to have sex when your pregnant because they are genuingly scared of hurting the baby so dont take it too personally
its hard enough trying to make your relationship work when its long distance anyway and throwing a baby into things wont make it any easier when your not living together and if you've never lived together before then doing it know is going to be sooo difficult, you see a differant side to people when you live with then and when you have a baby aswell its 10times harder.
show you are strong and get through this alone then if he shows interest when you've had the baby try to work with him not wanting to move its a big step for him.
dont forget your hormones are allover at the minute and you may be overreacting at little bit if your feeling a bit alone. he may honestly love you but get settled down with your baby accept the support of your family and look after yourself for the rest of the pregnancy there's no point getting stressed over whether or not he is actually going to be there for you. pick yourself up and carry on.
good luck x x
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