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He has behaved badly and now my parents dont want me to see him!

Tagged as: Dating, Forbidden love, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 June 2007) 6 Answers - (Newest, 5 July 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *very name is taken writes:

im so lost i need help!!! i am 18 and my boyfriend has just turned 22. We have been going out for 2 years and i love him very much. it was all very well with my family and both them and him were close. however they logged into my e mail and found some pictures that were very revealing and pictures that were more 'in the act'. This isnt a regular thing we do, but we were just experimenting. i sent him pictures first and then asked him to send me some back and so he did. When my mum and dad found the pictures they were dissapointed and thought he was a weird however i know the truth. It was just a lil bit of experimenting. He was banned from the house and i was only allowed to see him three times a week and had deadlines we got on with this and it was hard sometimes but we got on with it. however it got to my b.f and it put pressure on the relationship, one night i didnt answer his calls or reply his messages when i was out with my firends, and he acted in a disguisting way. He came round my house waited for an hour for me to get home and then when i did get out my car he grabbed my hair and spat in my face and told me thats what he thought of me. He now says he didnt mean it and it was due to the stress and due to the fact we werent too good and i kept on putting the issues aside cause i had to deal with my a levels. i cant help still love him and do want him back because i dont believe that was him that night. However my parents will not tolerate him and say the only way i can be with him is if i move out and live with him. I feel that is unfair as its not what i want.I want them to give him a second change to prove himself, but they are unwilling to give him one. What shall i do because to lose him is breaking my heart. Yes, he is my first love but i feel we have something so special and im not ready to give him up as its not my choice. What should i do? please help.

Note from moderator: I have done some editing on this question. Please use proper grammer next time you post a question.

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A female reader, love-him United Kingdom +, writes (5 July 2007):

love-him agony auntHi babe, that is the only other option then, it is mean but he was a complete arse with u by spittin in ur face.. you need to get over him -by finishing him- you have to get over him you are worth so much better!! mail me if u wanna talk x x x x x

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A female reader, every name is taken  United Kingdom +, writes (5 July 2007):

every name is taken is verified as being by the original poster of the question

hey this is an update on my situation and i am still looking for advice. ad you no me and my boyfriend split up, which came as a shock as we were going out for two years and have always been more a less good there as been no big issues like cheating or n e thing like that however recently he ended it with me in a rage, and spat in my face and pulled my hair, which came out of the blue but now he wants me back. i have tried to move on but it doesnt seem to happen as i dont think i want to move on. he wants me back and i want him but my parents would never let me get back with him and are giving me the option of leaving the house to be with him or not get back with him. leavign the house is not an option i dont have a job as i have jst finished my a levels, and i am soon going off to uni so i rely on them and also dont want it to come to this, however to leave my boyfriend of two years is killing me so i dont no how to get my way and live at home but still go out with my boyfriend and for my parents to let me make up my own decision. i think if it were my choice to break up with him, it would be a lot easier to get over him. iv asked my mum and dad to talk to my b.f but they refuse so i just am so lost because i feel i cant leave home but i also cant leave him and it is totally killing me and upsetting me please help any advice will be really appreciates thanks x

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A female reader, DIE-romantic. United Kingdom +, writes (3 July 2007):

DIE-romantic. agony auntWhat on earth..? He spat in your face and grabbed your hair? Its completely disgusting! I totally understand where your parents are coming from here. You might still love him, but surely if you had self respect you would see that he doesnt respect you?! Although its not your parents decision, its entirely upto you, but i would never put up with a guy doing something like that to me, and you should either, but whatever you choose.

xxx take care and keep us posted xxx

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A female reader, flower girl United Kingdom +, writes (30 June 2007):

flower girl agony auntI can totally understand how your parents feel being a mother myself, if some one treated my daughter in that way there would be no way on this earth that she would see him again, and to be perfectly honest with you i can not understand why you would want to be with someone that has spat in your face, that is disgusting behaviour.

Ok so he has apologised, but even still thats like physical abuse and that could lead onto further things, because like you said this happened just because you did not answer his calls or texts.

If i were you i would forget about this guy and move on because no one deserves to be treated like that.

Take care.xx.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2007):

I have been in a similar situation and I understand completely what you are going through. I however got so caught up in proving everyone who disproved of my man wrong, that I lost sight of what i look for in a man and whether or not he is what I want. I think you need to decide if this is really someone that you want to risk everything for. Is he really someone you can see yourself with forever? Figure out what you want. Bottom line, your parents love you and will forever be there for you. But will he?

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A female reader, love-him United Kingdom +, writes (30 June 2007):

love-him agony auntErm darlin.. he grabbed u by the hair and spat in ur face. i can only say one thing to that. leave him.. he is complete and utter rubbish.. (i chose my words carefully) honestly babe he isnt worth ur time..it is ur choice.. to do WHATEVER you want!! babe your parents are just shocked and probably wont forgive him.. (they may though, but it will take a lot of time) mail me if u wanna talk x x x xx x

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