New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login225747 questions, 981563 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

He has a 'pee' fetish and it weirds me out! How do I handle this?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 January 2007) 21 Answers - (Newest, 21 January 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Ok ive been with my boyfriend for 2 yrs, were really good together and have a great sex life. The thing is he recently revealed a bit of a fetish to me, he told me peeing turns him on. I mean ive heard of it but its not something i ever thought happened in the real world n to be honest im not quite sure what to do. He was really embarrassed n wished he hadnt told me, and i tried to be supportive but i jus dont get it. He told me he doesnt expect me to take part in anything like that but im not really sure what to to with this information! Do I jus forget he ever told me? should i try n understand? I love him n there's no danger of this splitting us up but im just a bit weirded out n not sure wot to do.

View related questions: sex life

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A male reader, BigEb United States +, writes (21 January 2014):

...as a guy, ironically, my girlfriend has a pee fetish...both of us also have a fetish about wearing spotlessly clean, white underwear (it is such a turn-on for me to see a lady (especially a pretty one) wearing a perfectly clean white pair of panties). However, she has asked me to pee my pants on several occasions. I'm not into the peeing thing, but have done it for her on a few occasions, but only when it has been just between me and her. I have discussed this with her, but she doesn't seem to care much. Unlike your situation, it is one of the issues that is making me considering dropping the relationship, and I don't quite get this one, either. In our case, it can be a control issue. If you have a problem with this, try discussing it with him...obviously, even though he has discussed something that could be considered strange (or perhaps even disgusting), and you are not looking (at least, not at this time) looking to break up with him, I would see if he would not ever MAKE you pee...if not, it would probably be a good idea to simply accept his admission and just go on (and hope he grows out of it in time)...

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, CODEMONEYS United States +, writes (21 October 2010):

This is very interesting, I am so happy I came across this thread while searching online. I have been in this situation for awhile now where I my fiancee and I are very open with our sex life. We like to watch porn together and we both watch it alone as well.

I noticed that lately he seems to like watching a lot of videos with women peeing, or masturbating and peeing. I don't judge what turns him off as I get turned on by my own fetishes but this one was something that just kind of turned me off and I couldn't understand why he would be so turned on by it.

As biblical hussy stated above "I can totally see the appeal from the man's point of view--warm liquid flowing from your lover's c*nt. It's an intimate thing. And naughty. It shows trust."

&

It's a way that a woman can symbolically "cum" on her man, and mark her territory, the same way a man can do to a woman.

You just made me step back and think about this. Thanks for putting it in a different perspective, I think I may give it a go. Hell, why not. :)

I think she

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2008):

IF your bf has the guts to tell you and not keep it a secret, you should try to understand the fetish, and be supportave, becouse if you dont later on down the line he might or might not seek the experance of the fetish with someone else?? not saying he will !!! but alot of men go outside of the relationship to prosatutes and other means to get what they want . example woman who dont like anel sex , or giving head or swollowing cum the husband will seek out other woman that will!!! that is a proven fact!! so please try to understand and be supportave with him..

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, coolguy2k8 United States +, writes (13 August 2008):

if your boyfriend has the guts to tell you this the way he did without hesitation you should love him and be proud of him for that its ok to do pee fantasasy its ok to pee on someone it even ok to drink if you kidneys are healthy and bladder is healthy and you imune system is healthy and liver it might taste bad at first it has a salty bitter taste sometimes it has a sweet taste its not goign to kill you or land you in the hospital inless the urine had bacteria the caused diseases almost 100% of the time it dont when you wake up in the morning your pee is very acidy all urine realy is is 96% water water wich comes from the blood and a chemical called urea wich is to blame for the color of pee and a liver enzyme called bile wich somtimes makes pee floresscent

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2008):

Try checking that out. You may find the information helpful. http://www.smartsextalk.com/fetishes.html

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008):

Everyone has something weird and different about them. Some more than others. Who are we too judge. To tell the truth that fetish if you think about it isn't that extreme at all. Their are alot worse fetishes than that. I would say let him know that you except him the way he is, and don't make him feel bad. You guys obviously have something their in the relationship. I mean think about it, he had enough trust in you to come out and tell you. I would tell him that you just need some time to think about it. let him know you may never want to do something like that, but no matter what you still want him. Don't let something like that break up something that could be great. Just remember don't judge him, he didn't ask for it.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2008):

The problem with is that when a man has a fetish, it can start off as something he enjoys watching people do in things like pornography, then as porn grows to be less effective for him it can progress from fantasy masturbation (Generally about his lover) and eventually he will start to be QUITE willing to pursue it vigorously by asking his lover. Which means that if he has had this fetish for 2 years and has finally spoken out about it, then he wants to finally bring this fantasy to reality.

The problem (if you choose not to) here is very similar to the most common PHYSICAL reason why a woman who desperately wants to have a baby, may eventually leave her current lover some time after she finds out that it is completely impossible to have one with HIM because he chooses not to give her one for way too long (Or maybe he just can't, which obviously happens a lot), so she will freely pursue a man that can.

He has a fantasy that has now progressed to a need (which is just normal, most people have a fantasy that they are scared to admit to, or feel their lover might find it too extreme or too boring etc.) and is now at the point where he feels he needs to try it to satisfy his new sexual craving. He may say that "it's OK if you don't want to", however, in the long run, like a woman who craves to have a child with a man that simply can't, he may become sexually dis-satisfied because something that his body is craving naturally is being denied or held off too long, and it is then that this man may pursue someone else to satisfy his craving for it..

I'm sure most people would like to just reassure you that it is OK to brush aside, but just as you have needs that may be different or not usually normal, he does too. And the fact is, is that sexuality is the number one thing that can make or break a relationship. People can argue that fact all they want and say "Well, if he loves you, then it should be OK and he should accept that" and all that business, but remember that love, relationships, mating, dating, family, attraction... it all boils down to 2 important natural things: Sexual Satisfaction/Gratification AND Procreation. Fail in at least one of these 2 too often and his body can naturally grow to reject his lover's body.

This is a natural Phenomena and should be considered carefully when deciding whether or not to fulfill his fantasy.

Spend some time together, read the risks (Which, as far as I can see, are very minimal provided both of you are healthy), and if you choose to let him have it, then drink lots and lots of water and LET HIM HAVE IT.

Good luck...

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2008):

//If it bothers you a lot, just forget he ever told you. If he keeps bringing it up, tell him not to.//

That's not going to help. You need to acknowledge that there's nothing wrong with him, and that he didn't "choose" to have this fetish. Believe me, the first thing he wants is acceptance. If you can't even show him some of that, then there's no way the relationship will work out.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2008):

no harm trying it...Try the bathub or something..

If it bothers you a lot, just forget he ever told you. If he keeps bringing it up, tell him not to.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008):

I am the male reader from the 12th of December.

To the female from the 28th of December...

It's really hard to explain. It's a fetish. A fetish is a kind of sexual fixation at things not normally associated with sex. And there are many kinds of pee fetishes. The kind that the male reader from 29th of December describes is just one type. The kind that I described is called "Female Desperation". It's hard to explain WHY it turns me on. I feel the same kind of attraction to a girl holding her liquid, that I do to a girl with big breasts. I can't really explain why some of us men find it attractive. Some of us, like December 29th over there, have reasons. Some of us are just naturally aroused by the sight, the same way we are at big breasts.

In other words, for some of us, we can't really explain why we find it attractive. We just do.

And 29th, I don't appreciate your neglect to make known that you aren't me. I'm sure you confused 28th into thinking that you're 12th, even though I am 12th. Not you.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2007):

a female peeing on a male is sensual rather than sexual, i am a male who adores having a women pee over me preferebly into my mouth, it warms me in more ways than one, firstly it allows me to show my complete submission to her, also of cours her domination over me, it also is so very intimate, having passed through her bodies most internal organs.

in short it is being totally at the mercy of someone you love, but only as and when they choose to do it and allow me to taste them

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, apple07 United Kingdom +, writes (28 December 2007):

to the latest anonymous male reader of 12th december.

am currently seeing someone who likes both the peeing thing and the holding thing. i am ok with both, but would just like to understand better what is so exciting in seeing me holding my 2 litres of water/wine etc.. thanks in advance for giving me some clues.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2007):

I myself have a pee fetish. It's not the same kind, it's more of a "watching her hold it" than "watching her go", but my partner doesn't mind at all. You should keep an open mind, and even help him please his fetish sometimes, if you know what I mean. That's what my partner does for me, and she doesn't mind at all. Believe me, if you turn it into a fun little game, it won't be awkward at all.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007):

My ex just revealed to me that he has the fetish of watching/ eating a girl peeing. I was a bit turned off by this but felt terrible because i love him and would do anything for him. I am guessing it is fairly normal for guys and girls to have this after doing some research. I am debating whether or not to do it to keep him satisfied because i care about him but at the same time, i understand how strange it is. can anyone else explain to me how guys or girls find this sexy?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Biblical Hussy Canada +, writes (6 February 2007):

Lots of guys have pee fetishes. It's the trendy fetish to have. (I'm assuming you're talking about girl peeing on guy, and not the reverse.)

My theory is that the rise of the pee fetish among men is a sign of the rising equality of women. It's a way that a woman can symbolically "cum" on her man, and mark her territory, the same way a man can do to a woman. Personally, I think this is a good thing.

I've happily peed on some of my men. I enjoy it. And I can totally see the appeal from the man's point of view--warm liquid flowing from your lover's c*nt. It's an intimate thing. And naughty. It shows trust. It's fun.

Why not expand your horizons? You might find you like it. And you'll never know unless you've tried.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007):

My boyfriend has the same fetish and when he told me about it i was a bit horrified too, i let him try it on me jus to see what it was like and also let him watch it on porn while i sucked him off.

Learn to negotiate, why should he give up something he likes just because you dont like it.

Relationships take a bit of give and take!!

Good luck!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Nikita United Kingdom +, writes (23 January 2007):

Nikita agony auntHi there, well everyone has their little turn ons and a pee fetish is becoming more common these days. its obviously not for everyone though and if you dont want to take part then thats fine and it sounds like he doesnt expect you to participate in his fetish unless you're willing. He probably plucked up courage to tell you this for fear that you might react badly so I would imagine thats why he's taken two years to tell you unless its a recent thing with him. I know you feel a little freaked out by it but remember that he's opened himself up to you and revealed something that he could have kept to himself but didnt because he trusts you and loves you.I can see why he's wishing he never told you. You probably tried to hide your shock but he sensed it and wished he'd kept his mouth shut. I would just say to him, that it shocked you at first but that its fine now and while its not something you wish to do, it doesnt bother you that it turns him on. Just concentrate on things that turn both of you on! Take carex

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007):

Good morning to you.

Dont worry about this it is perfectly natural,and many women are also turned on by it.It may seem a little bizarre at first,but so are a lot of our sexual activities initialy.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Amethyst United States +, writes (23 January 2007):

Amethyst agony auntEveryone has their own little "weird" quirks about them, all you can really do is be supportive and let him know that, while you can't bring yourself to doing it, you're glad he told you. That way, he won't feel AS embarrassed about it, and he may confess more to you in the future. Maybe tell him something weird about yourself that you're embarrassed about, let him know you have "weird" habits/thoughts as well. Other than that, I agree with the first responce... focus on the sexual interests you both share. ^_^

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007):

Fetishes involve the person sexualizing an object or a non sexual act and they feel sexual arousal when ever they engage in the fetish.

I think it is weirder that your boyfriend waited two years to reveal this to you, perhaps he visits porn sites that have his or watces porn movies and he gets off on it rather than actually experiencing it himself..

Personally, I would not go for this at all nor in participating in it, but if it does not affect your relationship or your sex life then what I would do with the information is just file it away as hmmm, didn't see that one coming....he may not really have a fetish if he does not insist you try it, but is more curious about what he has observed others doing....just a guess, you can ask more questions, but if it weirds you out, why go there?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007):

Well, you can be understanding, and if its something you find weird, just let him know its not a turn-on for you, and draw attention to the things you DO have in common sexually.

You'll do better if you can be at the same time: understanding, firm (if he wants you to participate) but also non-judgmental, dont condemn him for liking it! Maybe you can make a sort of joke - hit a light note about it.......

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "He has a 'pee' fetish and it weirds me out! How do I handle this?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.3125!