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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I used to be in a sort of "friends with benefits" with a guy i know who lives miles away from me. We knew each other from school and got back in touch over Facebook. It lasted a while then we didn't see each other for a few months and during that time he got back together with his ex girlfriend who he's still with.I dated during that time but i'm currently single. So, he's been with her nearly 2 years but for nearly all of that time he's been coming on to me pretty strongly.A few months ago we met up, it was supposed to be for just a drink and to talk but very stupidly we ended up sleeping together. It was a big mistake, at least on my part anyway. The next day he updated his status saying how great his girlfriend was and that was just too much after what happened so i removed him. He agreed that it was a mistake and not to worry about it. To just forget it happened.Then a few weeks ago he texts me again (he was staying in my town) asking me to come over and stay at his. I said "you have a girlfriend" he ignored what i said and you "are you coming over or not?" i still said "no" and told him that i thought he regretted what happened like i did and i can't sleep with him then let him go back to her and that it hurt me. He admitted he didn't just want to be platonic friends. I told him to just leave me alone and go to bed. He text me and called again for a while that night trying to change my mind but i didn't.I haven't spoken to him for a couple of weeks and he's still removed from my Facebook. Why doesn't he see what happened was wrong?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2011): He doesn't care.
Bottom line.
Why? Who knows, only a counselor will be able to figure out that stuff with him.
But, you should just drop a line to his gf and let her know how she's being used. It can be anonymous.
She needs to protect herself, and can't do that if she's ignorant of this.
A
female
reader, NightRain004  +, writes (26 August 2011):
Hi. Im in a pretty similar situation. my ex had a fiance and was dating me too. apparently, he sees nothing wrong with it either. I don't think they see anything wrong with it because they are too into the moment. Your 'friends w benefits guy' seems to just be really horny and not very caring of your feelings. i would say leave him and forget about him until he recognizes what he did was wrong which may never happen. He is choosing to cheat on his girlfriend which shows you what he would do if you two were to date as well. If you are tiring of avoiding him, just talk to him about what he did and how wrong it was and how he should be better than that since cheating after 2yrs? was he even loyal from the start? If he just doesn't get it and keeps bothering and pressuring you to have sex, than just forget about him. He isn't worth your time nor your heart and body.
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