A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am a gay man and have been in a relationship now with my partner for 10 months. We have so many things in common and he is both very caring and loving. We came to a point where he wanted to have threesomes and at first I was okay with this and said we would try it to see how it goes. We did it several times and I was always left with a feeling of sadness and being hurt from actully seeing him have with another person. I explained this to him and we came to a point where he wanted to have sex with other men by him self so I would not be able to see it so it would not bother me as much. This situation was very hurtful when it happened and we are now at a point if I can not handle this and he can not have sex with other men while being in a relationship with me then he says we can not be together. I love him very much and do nit want to lose him at all but I not sure if I can mentally take this sex with other people thing for very long.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2009): Hi.
I don't usually reply to these but seemingly some people think all gay men catch diseases and none of us want a monogamous relationship.
I have been in this situation not long ago myself and found it very damaging. Eventually, I was forced to end the relationship...I was very upset but in retrospect I wished I'd ended it as soon as this sort of thing started to come to light. I don't like threesomes, or sharing, I just want a stable, monogamous relationship.
It is really difficult, I know, especially as people don't think men should be upset about this kind of thing at all (just another stereotype) but I think he's not kind to you, as my ex (who was bisexual and kept taking up with women and telling me I should put up with it) was not kind to me. It will probably take you a while to get over it, I know it did me, but you're going to be better off without all this rubbish.
Best wishes
A
male
reader, paulofessex  +, writes (25 December 2009):
 Firstly l feel Uncle Phils contribrution to the subject should not have made it through morderation. Using the word poofter is disrespectful and not all gay men catch AIDS.
Back to the OP.....l agree with the other comments, your partner dont care about you, it is certainly passed the stage of saying to him that 'its me or them' because l doubt if this guy can be trusted.
Please consider you own happiness and health
Best wishes
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2009): He's obviously a snapper. He's not normal. This one is to be avoided. Shoving shit uphill is unnatural.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2009): He's obviously a bloody poofter! If he wants sex with other men, fine, but unless you want a bad case of AIDS I'd recommend you to avoid this bloke like the plague.
Find a bloke who's normal. This one isn't.
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A
female
reader, ohbabycakesxx +, writes (25 December 2009):
He obviously cares about sex more than he cares about you. Even after you've explained your feelings to him and he doesn't want to listen, then drop him. Chances are, wether you like it or not, he's going to go do it behind your back if he has to, and that my friend, is cheating. Drop the man. All he's doing is hurting you and he can't see that.
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (25 December 2009):
 You need to break up with him and move on, he's not being fair to you! He should put you first but he's not, and he's not considering your feelings either xx
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