A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:last summer my fiance went on vacation to mexico.while he was there he went to a strip club and received oral sex from a stripper.he even ejaculated in her mouth!!!!!!!!!!after that occured he obviously told me and immediately he went to the doctor to get tested for any std's,hiv and everything else.he's gone to 3 different doctors and they've all told him that he's perfectly fine (thank god)and that all the results came out negative.but ever since then he's been very paranoid and he doesn't want to be intimate with me.most of the time now i feel unwanted and as if i have to beg for sex.i love him,we have a beautiful 15 month old daughter and we've been together for about 4 1/2 years.i really don't want to spend the rest of my life with someone who makes me feel the way he's been making me feel lately.what he did was very irresponsible and it hurt me a lot!!!...but i forgave him...it's taking a lot for me to trust him again...he feels guilty for what he did and i understand him,but it's not fair that because of him being so paranoid,even when he knows he's o.k.,i have to suffer.i dont know what to do anymore.please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!that happened about 6 months ago.shouldn't he just move on?!
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ejaculate, fiance, move on, oral sex, std, stripper Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2007): ok firstly...yes you can get deseases from recieving oral sex so hes right to be paranoid...and just because hes acting funny doesnt mean hes cheating at all so i dont get that advice.
hes most likely had a scare about his health from this as well as the shame of it all. he realises hes done something wrong, stupid and dangerous and probably doesnt feel comfortable about himself for doing it. its certainly how id feel..just because a man shys away from sex doesnt mean hes cheating why do women always say that, it could be stress, a lack of confidence, illness a wide range of things.
the best way to solve a problem is honesty, openly talking about an issue without raised voices,sarcastic tones etc.
maybe he just needs reasuring you dont think hes any less of the human he was or the father he is.
A
female
reader, cece23 +, writes (17 January 2007):
 My dear....he is using that as a lie...or shall I say playing a game...honestly he is doing someone else on the side. Hate to be blunt....but there's no way....a guy will drive his self that crazy over some blowjob.....he probably feels like more of a man....a ego boost.....because if he have that type of issue in his mind...you wouldn't have gotten pregnant...and number 2 you would have went through the situation with him...when yall were intimate for the first time....pay close attention to his ways and see if he is doing anything he shouldn't be doing.
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (17 January 2007):
 It seems as though there is more to this than meets the eye. I've never heard of anyone getting a disease from a blowjob, Mexican or otherwise, but I guess it's possible.
If he is really paranoid about this, then he needs to seek some professional help. Not for between his legs, but for between his ears.
He may just be using this as an excuse. Why, I don't know. I'd think about family counceling for both of you, as well, since you have a child to consider.
Good luck!
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