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He gets too nervous to have sex. What can I do to help?

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 November 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 28 November 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I recently got together with this guy. He's older than me by 3 and a bit years and lives away so whenever he comes to visit we get physical.

Our first time was amazing. He did go soft twice but he got it back and later he confessed it was his first time. Which explained him going soft. I didn't mind, to be honest I was thankful for a moment to get my breath back, I was just glad it wasn't me having that effect on him but he assured me it was just nerves.

However we've tried to have sex again once since then and he can get it up and it stays rock hard then the second he puts the condom on and tries to penetrate it goes soft.

I don't know what to do to help him. I don't know if it's still nerves or what. I just feel bad that he gives me loads of foreplay and gets me off then he goes soft as soon as we go to have sex. I try and keep him relaxed so he's less nervous but it doesn't seem to work.

Plus if every time he puts a condom on he goes soft then I'm wondering if we should look into other methods.

Any advice on how to help him out or even just what to do if it does happen?

Thanks in advance.

View related questions: condom, foreplay

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A male reader, Flightfrk02 Canada +, writes (28 November 2011):

Condoms, do not feel great at all, takes a lot of pleasure away, I recommend kimono micro thin, they worked the best for me. Just the time alone to put a condom on can give you enough time to go soft, maybe put it on for him, it may work better as well

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A female reader, hannah76 United Kingdom +, writes (25 November 2011):

hannah76 agony auntHello,

It seems to be the condom which is causing him the problems. As it was his first time, it seems he just isn't used to wearing condoms. That sounds normal to me.From personal experience.. Time and practise seems to come to mind at the moment. Why not get him hard and roll the condom on yourself. If he goes soft, don't worry, try not to stress. Perhaps get used to eachother first and just lay with eachother wearing underwear and and let him get used to lying next to a girl. Also, maybe get him to try putting on condoms when he is on his own at home just for practise and getting used to them. But bottom line is always practise safe sex. So he does need to wear a condom.

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A female reader, Jessi4j Australia +, writes (25 November 2011):

Don't try and relax him... Arouse him more. Hope i helped x

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