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He flirts a lot and he has a Gf. We've been texting. How can I make things less awkward if we do sleep together?

Tagged as: Cheating, Crushes, Friends, Three is a crowd, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 July 2015) 7 Answers - (Newest, 19 July 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

There's a new guy that started at my work he's 32 bearing in mind I'm 20 but I don't think the age matters because we're basically like the same people.

But the problem is that he has a girlfriend and he have such good flirty banter and I'm starting to think I fancy him a bit.

I reckon he fancies me too.

I'm a good looking girl and his girlfriend isn't the nicest looking girl he could get because he is very good looking...

Plus were always joking around all the time but whenever he walks past he's always slapping my bum and stuff.

So the other night he gave me his number and we've been texting about sleeping together and what not like I really really want to and I don't feel bad one slight bit which I should???

How can I make it less awkward if it is to happen?

View related questions: flirt, has a girlfriend, text

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (19 July 2015):

Tisha-1 agony auntCould you be more specific about how it would be awkward? And why simply avoiding the situation wouldn't be the best solution?

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (19 July 2015):

mystiquek agony auntIt is said that with age comes wisdom. I hope that this will be true in your case and that much of what you wrote was just a young girl talking and not thinking things through very carefully.

Getting involved with a co-worker is a big mistake. Its very hard to keep that type of a relationship a secret and once the word gets out all kinds of rumors will start. Its very likely that one or both of you would get fired.

The man is old enough to know better than to be acting the way he is at work. That can easily turn into sexual harassment. I guess you think he's being cute but he is waaay out of line.

You seem to think that you're prettier than his girlfriend so that makes it ok for you to want to cheat with him??? I'm sure happy that most people don't think that way! Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder my dear and just because a person is good looking doesn't mean that they have a good heart. Beautiful people can be very ugly on the inside.

If you're so hot then why not find your own man? A man not taken! This guy is a jerk and trust me, once he does the deed with you, he'll more than likely drop you like a hot potato and run back to his girlfriend saying it was a mistake and you led him on...ect..and he'll more than likey call you a slut or a whore and tell everyone in your work place how you chased him. You in turn will come on here saying how could he treat you this way..blah..blah..blah..We see it all the time on here.

He's a jerk..admit it. Would you want your boyfriend doing this to you?? Would you?? Really? And if this guy should break up with his girlfriend and go after you what makes you think he wouldn't cheat on you?? Odds are he would.

You've had some cold water thrown on you today...I hope its cooled you off enough to see reason. What you are thinking is mean and wrong. Have some decency and respect for yourself. Don't get involved with this guy.

How do you make things less awkward? By walking away. Plain and simple.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2015):

Slapping you on the bum is inappropriate not only on the job; but because he has a girlfriend.

He doesn't respect you, and as soon as you do have sex, he will treat you differently. Remember you said you fancy him? Well, his girlfriend fancies him too, and she may not let him go. How conceited of you to compliment your own looks and criticize hers. So because you don't think she deserves him, that gives you the right to do as you please?

Wow!

He may not want to let her go either, he just sees an easy opportunity for sex on the side. He's far too forward, and touching you is going to get him in serious trouble.

If he does get to have sex with you, and decides to cold-shoulder you afterwards. You're going to be angry and feel used. He will return to his girlfriend, and you'll want to do something mean about it. You both may get fired; because you increase the liability on your job for a sexual harassment suit. It doesn't feel good to get screwed and dumped! Or treated like a trollop, by some guy cheating on his girlfriend.

Everything said and done is so very wrong on so many levels. Disrespecting his girlfriend, and not caring about it doesn't say much good about your character as a person.

I'm just saying.

You're very young, and most of your commentary is for shock-effect. Okay, you're hot and you know it. We get it!

I don't think you really meant all that, but just saying it in defense of your actions. You do care; because you wouldn't like such a thing to happen to you, if he was your boyfriend. There is a karma for what we do to hurt others. What goes around, comes around. Just when you think you're home-free. Time passes, and you find your first and best love.

You'll fall deeply in-love, he's a great guy; and some girl comes along, and he cheats. Then how will you feel about that?

You can't make things less awkward if sleep with him. He will see you as cheap and easy. If there are other females around you aware of what's going on; they may just tell his girlfriend, and the boss. You may catch hell when you least expect it to happen.

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!" That scorn isn't reserved only for men, my dear!

By your standards and opinion, she may not look good enough for him; but she may show you a thing or two about being a man-stealer and home-wrecker! Wise-up, and back-off. Find your own man.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2015):

It's not up to you to protect his girlfriend. He's the one who is meant to be faithful. It's not your problem. I'm guessing that might explain the lack of guilt.

I wouldn't do it though, purely because you work together and that could end badly.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2015):

All I can say is that it would be a great idea for karma to show you how this feels when you're on the receiving end - but maybe it'll wait until you have a family.

Don't be so silly as to be the other woman.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (18 July 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI f you want your work place and life to be awkward continue down that path.

YOU know it's wrong. HE has a GF.

He is not going to dump her for you and you two will ride off into the sunset. He will sleep with you once or as long as he can get away with it, then move on to some other naive girl.

And once things get awkward at at work, who do you think they will keep? The young female or the older male?....

IF that was YOUR boyfriend, how would you feel if he decided to flirt and have sex with some co-worker...? That would be OK, right?

Come on - use some flipping common sense, girl. Don't be stupid.

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (18 July 2015):

Anonymous 123 agony auntOK this is wrong on so many levels!

He has a girlfriend! How can this not bother you? And its incredibly judgmental of you to think that she's not too good looking and rather pompous of you to think that YOU are...because despite what you think, he's with her and not with you. Yes, it does make him an a-hole for wanting to happily cheat on his girlfriend but then neither of you seems to have too many morals. Slapping your bum...My God...I wonder how you tolerate such behavior. Not only is it disrespectful, its something which could get you into a lot of trouble in your workplace.

Which brings me to my second point...you are making the cardinal sin of sleeping around with someone that you work with. This could backfire dangerously.

However, all said and done, you have no qualms sleeping with a man who has a girlfriend so I don't really understand what your problem and/or question is.

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