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He fancies Heidi Klum, but I look nothing like her. How can he like me?

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Question - (15 November 2008) 10 Answers - (Newest, 16 November 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi there,

me and my boyfriend have been together just over a year and the other evening we went out with some mutual friends and the conversation turned to which celebrity we fancy most and my boyfriend said Heidi Klum. I totally agree she is stunning - tall, blonde, skinny but im the complete opposite - im petite, curvy and a brunette so how can he fancy her and be with me? I mean i know theres personality etc but the celebrity i fancy is Hugh Grant and my b/f reminds me of him alot so it'd make no sense if i fancied David Beckham so much and then go out with someone who looked like Tom Hanks.

I feel he had just settled to be with me. Any advice??

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A female reader, birdynumnums Canada +, writes (16 November 2008):

birdynumnums agony auntSorry troubled, I got the show wrong. The blonde on Cold Case, who is also Kathryn or "Lilly". X^P My opinion is I don't get it. Your Marg is pretty hot.

Yeah, Will IS leaving! Maybe you can get the series on DVD and watch reruns!!! ;^) As you can see, anon, all the aunties and uncles have fantasy people that they crush on outside of our own relationships, and if you are lucky, they are both on the same show!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2008):

Oh My Gosh Birdy!How did I forget our dear Gerry? Orgasmagorical.drool.drool some more.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2008):

Oh come on Birdy. You don't think that Marg (Catherine on CSI) is attractive in the slightest? Tell your hubby that I'm with him. Oh, my heart is thumping now. :) My wife likes Gil (William Peterson). I hope she still lets me watch now that he is leaving. :)

To the OP - We all have personalities who we think are attractive and like. I've lost count. Don't let it bother you. He wouldn't be with you if he didn't like you.

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A female reader, birdynumnums Canada +, writes (16 November 2008):

birdynumnums agony auntMy husband thinks I look like Renee Russo. I was really pissed at him because I don't think I do, until my mother said "Your HUSBAND thinks YOU look like Renee Russo. Don't you think that's a GOOD thing?" My husband looks like Robin Williams, but I think he looks like Cary Grant!!! (Who is my favorite!)... He also likes the blonde girl on CSI, and I don't think that she is attractive in the slightest. I don't get why you think he has "settled for you", it's just a celebrity crush, and most guys love Victoria's Secret supermodels. Heidi Klum is happily married to Seal, besides!!! Your guy obviously digs you or he wouldn't be with you. Most people have someone that they drool over, and it isn't always someone who looks like your wife or girlfriend. Don't you like some celebrity who doesn't look anything like your man? 'Cause mine doesn't look like Gerard Butler. A girl can dream, can't she? LOL!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2008):

Well, I fancy Hugh Grant too but my boyfriend looks like Tom Hanks!

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (15 November 2008):

TasteofIndia agony auntMmm, Johnny Depp - forgot all about that delicious hunk o' man. (how could I ever forget?!?!?)

He doesn't look like my boyfriend either, mmm mmm MMM!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2008):

I drool over James Denton,Patrick Swayze.Moon goddess I gush over Dennis Quaid too.I absolutely adore Denzel Washington.I am crazy about Johnny Depp.

My husband knows this.He look nothing like any of them.We are Indians.He is not bothered by it at all.

Their world is different from ours.Its fiction.I see them on screen.Think they look nice and then they are out of my head.I don't compare the person I live with to any of them neither physically nor with any of their screen persona.

Even if I do meet up with any of them I might not like something about them and end up hating them.

You seem very beautiful by your description.Its very normal to think someone else is beautiful.Your boyfriend may think she is hot.But that doesn't mean he thinks you are less beautiful.At the end of the day he chooses to be with you.That should account for something.

I hope I helped you understand how different people think differently.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (15 November 2008):

TasteofIndia agony auntGirl, John Krasinski (The Office) can rock my bed any time he wants to, and my boyfriend doesn't look anything like him. So what? Firstly, my boyfriends over time all look completely different, I have no theme of attraction. Secondly, when I look at my fella, I see the only guy I'd ever want to be with. George Clooney - you're a fox, but my fella is the only fella for me.

You are worrying over NOTHING. Heidi Klum is a complete babe, but Angelina Jolie is too and she's a dark haired, curvy girl. Don't you waste anymore energy fretting about you man's celeb crush. Not. Even. Worth it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2008):

I find people who don't look like my boyfriend attractive sometimes! Does he love you? Do you have a good sex life? Because if both of those answers are yes then you have no worries. Love is not based on looks, it's the person inside, and sex is (or at least should be) a display of that love.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2008):

Is this for real? are you actually worrying about this?? You don't go out with people just cause they look like a celebrity you fancy! (though that be a plus) He dosen't expect you to look like her and really it's stupid to get jealous over or even spare a thought about.

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