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female
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anonymous
writes: i have been engaged for a while an in the time weve been together he has never bought me flowers,chocolates,even after giving birth he never got me a card let alone anything else.never does he show me how im appreciated and there isnt anything i wouldnt do to show him how much i love him,yet he was suppose to exchange a safety gate and cooker guard for our babys safety,yet he decided to end it over issues without my version of events and not even thought about our sons safety,as he has not contacted us.
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female
reader, lillybet +, writes (2 October 2006):
 I'm sorry but what you have put doesn't sound like his feelings towards you are as you feel for him.
He is at the moment burying his head in the sand with regards to your son by walking away from him also but maybe that is because he feels he has to do that so that you know that it's over.
It does seem from what you say that he hasn't shown you that he loves or respects you so although you say you love him believe me you would never be happy with him long term as i think you know deep down that you and him will never live happily ever after.
So all i can say is and i know this is hard for you (been in your situation raising baby on own) but try and accept that you and him are over.Put yourself and your babies happiness first now and make a good life for you both because from the sounds of it you will in the long run be happier not being with him anyhow.
And if he wants to be in his son's life and shows he wants to be a good dad then you can allow that so that your son quite fairly knows you both and can make his own mind up about his dad.
If his dad doesnt bother at all ,well that say's it all about him as a person .
Try and move on though and believe me i know it's hard too when you love him and also have a child with him but YOU CAN do it and you can in time be with someone who will be happy to show he loves you by doing all the things you want.
Best of luck x
A
female
reader, lucky lynne  +, writes (1 October 2006):
 Are you sure this baby wasnt a trap?Why doesnt he want to contact you?Have you thought about his version of events?There has got to be more to this than you are saying.Was he at the birth?You seem to base your importance on "what he has or hasnt bought you".I think theres a deeper reason to why he hasnt contacted you. If he hasnt contacted you,how do you know his issues?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2006): There seems to be more concerned about what he has(or hasnt)give you.As for "baby".A baby is a human being,not a matromonial comodity.I think both of you would be better off moving on.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2006): What Toria and uonlyliveonce have written makes a lot of sense.
He is immature, and while he may not - obviously does not -want to be involved with you romantically, he IS OBLIGATED to pay child support, since he's the father, whether he wants to or not.
Go to court and get an order for him to begin paying it! Not just for your sake, but for his baby's sake.
Yes, you are better off!
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A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (1 October 2006):
 This guy committed to you and had a baby with you therefore having responsibility but he is showing no maturity or being responsible regarding the fact he has a child.
I think you are better off at least until this guy grows up and realises he needs take his responsibilitys seriously and having a baby is a big thing and alot of time and committment needs to be put in.
Good luck :o)
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A
female
reader, uonlyliveonce  +, writes (1 October 2006):
 i think if your really honest with yourself then this isnt about your baby, you love him you see the baby as a reason you should stay together but he doesnt feel the same about you.he doesnt show you your appreciated because he doesnt appreciate you, you say he didnt send you card after the birth, wasnt he at the birth?and i dont understand whatyour saying about the safety gate and your sons safety??the baby shoud be his responsibility aswell as yours but if he doesnt want to know you cant make him. no dad is better than a bad dad. make sure you get child support and walk away he isnt worth your time.just because you have a child together doesnt mean you should be romantically involved it might hurt but he doesnt love you simply because you had a baby together, move on with your life.good luck x
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