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female
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Corinne12
writes: my bf dumped me but when we see each other he acts too loving caring sweet as if nothing happened, but he hasnt gone back to me yet. im confused.me and my boyfriend were together for 9 months. everything was perfect it went smoothly, he was my first time and i thought he was the one forever and im sure he felt the same way. Until we went to the uni he changed a bit then dumped me last month because he said he's too busy and im asking for too much time he just can't give me that. he said i was really demanding and he just cant take care of me like he wanted to because college life is so stressful. So he dumped me.at first i thought id die and never get over him but slowly im trying to get over him. the problem is we see each other almost everyday at the uni its so hard, when i see him my feelings for him go up again so its like 50-50. the real problem though is when we see each other he acts like nothing happened, like he didnt dump me. he'd put his arm around me and tell me he really cares for me and when i ask him to go away he tells me "this is all the time i can give you why wont u accept it". its so hard what should i do, everytime we see each other he acts so nice, as if we're still together but he hasn't said that he wants us to be together again. Reply to this Question |
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male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (12 September 2006):
 I thinks like stina put it. That busy stuff is crap. When you want to be with someone you MAKE time for that purpose and even if its 5 minutes a day than its better than none at all. Don't let him dictate how your break-up will be. He already took his stand when he broke up with you. His stand ends there. He can't tell you how to conduct yourself because you are not together. He's selfish and a coward. You need to tell him how you feel and get some closure so you can move on. He wants to see other people and you need to go and heal from this then start to see other people. Good Luck.
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female
reader, stina +, writes (12 September 2006):
 Hi Corinne,
I really think you and your ex need to discuss what is going on between the both of you, because all of this confusion won't get the either of you anywhere but hurt or frustrated.
If he broke up with you, he should not be trying to hang all over you or still act sweet. That's being really self-centered of him. Why do I say this? Look at him - he seems fine, right? Seems so. Look at you - you're confused and perpetually upset. That's a terrible thing for him to do.
I suggest sitting down and having a conversation with him about why you two broke up, as Abacadaba recommended. I seriously think he's giving you the run around with it being too busy. If he was too busy, then how is he still able to see you "almost everyday?" If you got to see each other that frequently, enough for him to act sweet and as if nothing ever happened, then something tells me he didn't tell you the truth.
And I really hate to be a downer, but maybe he is thinking he'll see what other kinds of people are out there. Many times this is what happens when people move or go somewhere else for school. This is one of the worst feelings and it hits you really hard - I've been in that situation and it really sucks for a while. But you know what? It's not the end of the world! Things will be okay. But before jumping to any conclusions, you really need to find out if that is the case, because then it will give you a chance to feel more free. You won't feel all confused anymore - you will actually know where you guys stand. And if I were you, there would be no more getting lovey-dovey. That's playing with your emotions and it's so unfair to you while your emotions are so fragile.
So discuss what's going on with him and distance yourself if you need to. It will work out for you either way things go, because you'll know what is going on and will be able to figure out where to go from there. Take care.
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A
male
reader, Abacadaba  +, writes (12 September 2006):
 maybe he loves you, but isnt 'in love' with you, it happens
or maybe he just needs some time to himself and think about things
have you actually asked him 'why arnt we still together?'
maybe also say you dont mind if hes busy, as long as he loves you, theres no point in ending a relationship because of collage or anything, its just another bump in the road, speak to him about it
i hope it works out for you
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