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He doesnt work, he spends his dole money on drink, so when it comes to going out I have to pay!!!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 April 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 5 April 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have been with my boyfriend 1 year and 4 months.

(We dont live together)I Only see him at weekends because we live in different places. The problem is he drinks. He doesnt work. When he gets his dole money the 1st thing he does his spend it on alcohol. When It comes to the weekend he never as any money left

I work and every weekend I always have money. I am the one who is always forking out on stuff.

I dont wanna lose him but im getting fed up.

He doesnt seem to be intreasted in anything no more, ALL HE CARES ABOUT IS DRINK, He said he would like to stop but never does anything about it.

View related questions: money

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A female reader, lillady55 United Kingdom +, writes (5 April 2007):

lillady55 agony auntThe best thing i think you can do is, next time you meet, make up some huge bill that you have to spend all your wages on and plead poverty. Try doin this for the next few times you see him. When he begins to realise you aren't going to pay for his "drink" and anything else he wants, he will have 2 choices, find some money of his own !! or if he is only using you to pay for what he wants he will probably finish with you and move on to someone more gullible. So either way you win !!. At the end of the day you would be better off with someone without a drink problem beacause they usually put gettin drunk above anything else, and you deserve someone that would treat you alot better, and maybe take you out and treat you for a change.. Good look. x

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A female reader, _Hannah_ United Kingdom +, writes (5 April 2007):

Okay..It's really hard to give up drinking. I did it. So It can be done. I can understand how annoying this is. I Work, and my boyfriend doesn't so i always have money and him none.

You need to be Stern in a caring way. By not paying for as many drinks not only are you helping him give it up slowly but your saving yourself money too.

have a word with him tho. Tell him How You feel.

Peace.out

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A female reader, LittleTwoLegs United States +, writes (5 April 2007):

LittleTwoLegs agony auntHmmm...I have a few questions, like how old is he? Does he live with his parents? Or is he supported by some sort of wealthy family from far off?

It sounds like this guy is probably interesting, but when it comes to responsabuity it's not his mantra. Basically if it's been this long and he's always been this way...I'm sorry to say you might as well get out because he's not going to change. I've been in a similar situation, and some guys honestly just don't care. If he cares about you he'll try, but you can give it a 99% change that he'll make a small effort to make it up to you (maybe paying for dinner and making you a mixed CD) and then things will go right back.

But honestly, doll, could you imagine spending the rest of your life with someone like this? It sounds like he's more friend material than anything. Sure he's got the good looks and a strange charm, but in the end he simply isn't reliable enough to be a realistic partner, and you're not going to get out of this what you deserve.

I hope everything works out for you, and try to remain light hearted and not let anything get to you because it took me a long time to fully recover from the escapades I went through with mine way back when. Good luck!

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