A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Where to start.Started talking to someone on line October 06, we were supposed to meet 22nd October, never happened, had a huge online argument instead on a public forum.Started talking again Jan 07, he lived 280 miles away. He moved to within 30 miles of me June 07.Since that time, he has been ill since August to recently, his ex wife has died and he has now full responsibility for his two children of 15. He has last August bought me a car I have never seen, a laptop etc., had money put in my bank account weekly since September last year. We have still not met.We spend 8 to 10 hours a day on the phone.We were supposed to spend Xmas together, never did and New Years Eve, never did. He said it is because once I start on my depression and negative attitude he does not want to see me. I do suffer depression, and I do have emotional issues. I guess I do bully him for a specific time everyday, and he just cannot give it.He said if I would just stop for one day everything would be okay. My question - is he serious? Why would someone spend so much time getting grief *cos he does* on the phone from me, put money in my bank account regularly, if he was not interested? I know I have issues, how do I deal with them? How?
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ex-wife, his ex, money Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): The money has always materialised, the packages not as yet.
He asked that I not look for work, as I would not need to, hence he is kinda supporting me until we get together.
I do have a time frame on it and am making plans to try to get my son to live with his dad whilst I sort myself, that however would result in him moving schools over 100 miles away. But needs must.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): I'm still a bit confused.
Did any of these packages arrive? Did the money actually materialise? Did the credit card arrive? If so, have you used it? If it did, what is he expecting in return?
Be careful about giving out bank details - scammers might just bring your balance down to zero or worse.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI did not request the packages one package contained two games for my youngest for xmas including a pair of jeans for me, and a credit card in my name.
The second package was for my son for his birthday that contained a camera, radio and a cheque for 360.00.
I have not asked him for any money - he said it is to tide me over so I do not go without until we see each other.
The harddrive that was smashed was a previous partners it had images on me on that he was posting on the net.
It was destroyed and he paid for it to be replaced. I have confirmation from the ex this was done.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe has put, got someone else, to put in excess of 49 sums of money into my bank account over a period of four months, sums ranging from 10.00 to 150.00.
We are supposed to get together tomorrow at 12.
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A
female
reader, Lily Moll  +, writes (26 January 2008):
Let me get this straight:He's scheduled holidays and made plans to meet you, but these always get canceled/fall through.He says he puts money in your account, but you never receive the money. He says he sends you packages, but you never receive the packages.He talks to you on the phone constantly.YOU'VE NEVER MET HIM OR MET ANYONE WHO KNOWS HIM.How do even know that his brother and his children are real, let alone him? How do you know that he really moved 30 miles away from you, or that he moved because of you, and not for some other reason?Maybe I'm reading all of this wrong. It sounds very confusing to me. He sounds like a manipulator, and like he's having a cruel joke on you. I'm sorry. This sounds really unhealthy.
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female
reader, angel2006 +, writes (26 January 2008):
I have had problems with depression in the past and i always looked for a guy to fill the void. I see that you have found one while in that state but you rely on him for some normalcy, if you will. You need to find a away to be dependent on yourself and not him, he has his kids to worry about, and he might really like you, but with the depression you might be creating another stress in his life. My advice is keep talking to him, but try and cut it down a little. Also work hard to find something you can love. For me it was the military, somewhere where i belonged, for you it has become him and thats hurting him. Try and find something else, so he is a special thing not a necessity.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThing is I have spoken to his girls on MSN, I have their phone numbers, I have had contact with his best friends too via email.
One of his friends drove down 280 miles to sort out an ex for me, with him, they spent 6 hours at the guys house sorting things out so that I would not get any trouble from him again. Paying for his external hard drive at a cost of 180.00.
This being confirmed by the ex.
Hence, is it just me, who would do all that for nothing, every day I give him grief on the phone, every day I send nasty texts because of my paranoia and insecurity.
No messer surely would suffer that?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): By 'eck!
This guy is stringing you along! Is it foggy where you are or can't you just see it?
Why not meet a real person, instead of some ghost on the net? He's having a laugh, that's for sure.
I can't really say any more than that!
hil
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female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (25 January 2008):
 So in theory the whole thing could be a farce? What did he say about the holiday then? Is there really a house? And to be honest, i wouldnt even consider moving in with a guy i hadnt met in person. You dont know what spending a few hours in his physical company is like let alone live together. It all sounds really bizarre to me.
But maybe thats just me. I guess its because we cant see the full picture. Only what you have put on here.
C xxxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am on anti-depressants.
It is hard here to actually put everything into place.
He has just recently put an offer in on a house for all of us, his two girls and me and my son.
Last July he sent me confirmation of a holiday and plane tickets for four of us to go on holiday he was supposed to pick us up at 11 for the flight at 4, he ever arrived, my children and I were waiting til just gone 1pm, his phone went of at 20 to 1 and did not go on again for two days.
That was the first time I slated him on a forum.
We were packed, I had spent money on clothes, my kids were excited, he never showed.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (25 January 2008):
Hi
Im not getting this, you have never met the guy but he is putting money into your account and sending parcels?
You argue on a public forum and give him a hard time?
Its possible this guy is extremely inexperienced in real r.ships and thats why he's putting up with all this and maybe he is taking advantage of your vulnerability at the moment what with the depression.
But i cant help thinking, why get into even an online r.ship if your head is all over the place at the moment?
Surely better to sort the depression out first then think of getting into something with someone, only in real life, not over the net?
Im really not undertanding the money complication side of things though.
Good luck.
C xxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOn four seperate occasions he has put money into my sons bank account, and twice into mine, this has never entered the accounts or materialised, yet when his friend does it it works.
He has recently sent two Special Delivery parcels one to me two weeks ago, never arrived, he says it is at the sorting office?? and one to my son for his 20th to be received yesterday. Never arrived.
He said he chased the parcel yesterday, I heard him on the phone to the Uni and RM yet there is still no parcel there?
He talks to me on one phone and the Uni and Royal Mail on the other, yet there is no parcel been delivered?
Is he a pathological liar or is it me?
How can so many things that he has supposed to have done not arrive anywhere be it at the banks or via mail.
He counteracts it with I have never left you short, which he has not, but why do something like that if he is not interested?
I killed his creditibilty on a forum once, is he getting revenge? or is this paranoia again
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A
female
reader, XxAngelDust89xX +, writes (25 January 2008):
 It's obvious he is interested, But if you really have depression you need to seek professional help. Depression is a very serious illnes that needs to be treated as early as possible. Go talk to your doctor about it. Once you ge on and get used to the medication, if perscribed, watch and see how much better things get.
dont let this man get away from you he is a needle in a haystack.
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