A
female
age
18-21,
*Jess*
writes:He doesn't understand how self-conscious I am! It's horrible!! My boyfriend is very understanding of my shyness in general, like how I'm petrified of meeting his family and how I'm sometimes shy of kissing him in front of our friends but when it comes to me being shy in front of cameras he just doesn't get it! I won't go on webcam or I won't have my photo taken with him and he always gives me huge guilt trips saying if i loved him I wouldn't be so self-conscious around him. But he doesn't understand how much I hate it! And I'm very conscious of my stomach area and my legs and he tickles me there and grabs me and it's like he doesn't actually listen to me when I say I hate it. I'm not saying it for compliments, I HATE IT!!! He thinks by forcing me to take photos or things like that hes helping me gain confidence but he isn't! How do I tell him this? I've tried in the past but it doesn't seem to register in his brain. Please help.
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confidence, gain confidence, kissing, shy Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, *Jess* +, writes (16 July 2007):
*Jess* is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you! i will try that and let you know how it goes! xxxx
A
female
reader, nailglitter18  +, writes (16 July 2007):
 Assertiveness is the key here. Simply saying "I hate it" may not be enough, especially if it's very emotional. He may think it's just a "girl thing" - believe me, some guys can be rather daft in that department. :P
If you can't sit him down and try to calmly explain that you need time and respect- this is how you are- then write it out in a letter to him. And, frankly, you'd never make him eat food he hated, right? How is hating a kind of food different from hating having your picture taken? or your 'sensitive' areas poked at?
Bottom line is if these issues are so distressing to you- and you're not willing to try to overcome them for him- then remember that you deserve respect. Maybe it's time to find someone who is willing to back off when you say 'no'.
Good luck! Let us know how it works out.
3 glitter
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