A
female
age
30-35,
*liciouss
writes:i am masculine when it comes to problems and issues. i want to talk it out until it gets resolved. my boyfriend, on the other hand, either walks away from the situation or becomes extremely defensive even though he knows he's wrong.i just hate how he is such a girl. how do i deal with this? it is getting to the point where i don't care anymore cause it is irritating me. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2010): I would have considered the more talkative aproach to be the feminine one, and the masculine one to be walking away, being defensive. How come you would consider it the other way round?
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (3 July 2010):
Guys (well, the accepted stereotype) don't like to talk about problems. Which means they will either ignore it until it goes away or deal with it directly when they get shoved into it face first and there is no other way out. So you're considered normal for female standards ;-)
Anyway, if the problems get big enough for you to stop caring about the relationship, get curt with him. Tell him you two either find a way to resolve these issues without running away or screaming matches, or the relationship is over. BUT don't just point your finger at him. He'll just go on the defensive again and gets tunnelvision, which you don't want. try to figure out for yourself what the specific problems are. You need to be able to address them directly and figure out what your role is in them.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2010): I dont think that men like to talk over their problems, in my experience. That is a much more feminine trait! And what you say sounds pretty normal insecure guy to me...
If you want things to work, thy the sandwich technique, where you say two good things, one before and one after something that is bad, so he doesnt feel to threatened or criticised! Just a thought...
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A
female
reader, sallydoll  +, writes (3 July 2010):
Hi!you say you are masculine when it comes to problems, well i am a bit like that and my husband is deffinatly in touch with his femine side,its because i come across like that he thinks if he puts his head in the sand then you will sort it,try to be a damsel in destress and he will become a cave man to protect you by taking over the problems,do it so he does not relize what is happening,try that because it mite work take care.
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