A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have been dating a bloke for around a month now, he is ok with me a part from the fact that he has done all the initiating, ie texting me and asking me out, which obviously i dont mind at all but the problem i have is that when he texts me to see how i am, i always reply within say 15 mins (as i cant ignore a person if they text me) but then when i text him back to say that i am ok and ask how he is then he will text me back maybe 3 hours later and say that he was busy or sometimes even the next day and say he fell asleep. this is beginning to really get on my nerves now as if someone texts me i reply quite quickly and thats even if im busy. i think maybe he does it to keep me waiting or for attention or something as he will know i am waiting for a reply. if anybody knows how i would go about telling him that this is a problem to me and if it carried on i would rather not continue to see him then please share your views. also like i said i never text him first and because of the way he behaves i wouldnt want to text him first as if he ignored me for hours then i would just get really annoyed, although i wouldnt tell him that.
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female
reader, blast +, writes (27 July 2008):
hiya..i totally understand what you mean and how you feel .. basically you feel that if the guy was totally in love with you he wouldn't be able to think of anything else. To the person who's mum died of breast cancer I appreciate how you feel as my dad died when i was 23 but there is really no need to go calling someone immature because they are feeling hurt by someone. Of course my dads death is more important than some stupid man but that doesnt stop it hurting all the more when I feel rejected. back to the texting question, I would say that the man you are dating does like you but is clearly one of those annoying guys who once they realise you like them starts to take it easy. He is probaby a twat but us girls tend to like twats. It is very annoying to have to treat men like children but sometimes I think its for teh best . I would stop answering his texts at all and wait til he calls you are asks you why you didn't answer and at that point tell him its because you don't like how he doesnt reply straight away...keep light hearted though ...dont get all serious with him.. .. or alternatively when he texts you , reply but dont reply witha question so then he doesnt need to answer. x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008): 40 years ago we didn't have mobiles so no texting. 40 years ago people didn't have phones at home because they were too expensive. But people still managed to maintain relationships and get married.40 years ago, we didn't have fast foods and had to prepare our meals. What I am trying to get across is that society in general wants instant gratification, we want it all and we want it now. Lets slow down a bit, I think it would do us a power of good for our relationships and our own emotional well being. So because someone doesn't reply to your text within 3 hours you're prepared to write him off? Our grandparents would probably sigh in disbelief. I was guilty of exactly the same thing I texted and wanted a reply straight away.... let's just slow down, as they say Rome was not built in a day.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2007): Hi there friend.
I understand what you mean as i am the same as you but i have to be honest me ex got annoyed with me for wanting replies straight away and as she told me"she can't always reply immediately" The other thing i noticed is that sometimes she did reply pretty quick but with the networks sometimes they take longer coming through. try and see what time it says on his reply. you may even find he did reply quickly but it just took longer to get to you. Not all the time i know but maybe some of the times.i would just ask him that if he is busy just to send a secret code to you or something so that youknow he is busy. i wouldnt end a relationship just on texts. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (14 June 2007):
I do understand how this can be annoying sometimes, my boyfriend and my males friends often text me, then when i reply...i never get an answer. But i sometimes dont have my phone on me when i get a text, so i can understand that he may be busy or have a perfectly good reason for not replying straight away. Perhaps you just shouldnt text each other...wait untill your together to talk.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2007): I think it's a man thing. Most of them are not very good at talking at the best of times, so texting isn't one of their strong points either. At least you're getting a reply even if it is 3 hours later. I would be concerned if he stopped texting all together,but this is not the case here either. My ex was exactly the same, it drove me mad in the beginning and I asked him why? He said he didn't think it was that important as it was only a text. I think we look too much in to texts us ladies, I used to text 4/5 times and I would normally only get 1 in return. Also is he on pay as you go? maybe he's watching his pennies as well, so one text would seem enough for him, even though you'd really like to receive a 100 a day. :) Just chill out, he's interested, so why worry so much.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2007): Well just maybe he is telling the truth. You are being very demanding and insecure. It is his right to text you when he has time. Maybe, just maybe he WAS asleep. Maybe he is not a slave to his mobile phone. What if I told you that the speed that he responds to your texts says nothing whatsoever about the way he feels about you? Well it does not.
What you will most certainly do is put him off if he sees this clingy behaviour go on. You should not be sitting there, timing his responses as though you had no life of your own. My partner oten does not reply for hours during the day, but we LOVe and trust each other so much. The conclusion that you have reached is way off beam - chill out, he will always respond when he can, the timing says nothing at all.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2007): hi i am the person who wrote the post and to the 2 people that have called me immature then i think you have got me very wrong. i find myself quite mature actually. as i see it, if a person texts you to start a conversation and you replied with your answer and then they just ignored you back then why the hell did they bother to text you if they are just going to ignore your response. and also the person concerned usually texts me around 1 or 2 in the morning. maybe they have been busy all day but like i said i dont see that anyone could be to busy to send a text. i havent come across a person like this before and the reason i dont text him is because im not prepared to wait hours or a day for him to respond with a simple answer. the only problem that i have is i dont know how to assert myself to tell him that i dont like this.
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A
female
reader, ariel + ♥, writes (14 June 2007):
 "i wouldnt want to text him first as if he ignored me for hours then i would just get really annoyed, although i wouldnt tell him that.".......I think that is your problem,it's not about how quick he can text back.You are so afraid that he rejects you. You have major insecurities and dumping him is not going to stop them.Its time you realise that no man is going to make your life complete.Only you can.Come tell us what is really worrying you.
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A
male
reader, Dr. Reality Check +, writes (14 June 2007):
 Oh my God, what are you, like 13 disguising yourself as a 30 year old. Perhaps you should read what you have written. Are you really whining because he doesnt text you fast enough?!?! Bloody hell!
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A
female
reader, Variety +, writes (14 June 2007):
 Get a grip. Some people reply quickly to texts, others take more time. It is not a big deal. If it was important then you would be communicating with him in a medium more personal then a text. Call him if you want a flipping instant response.
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A
female
reader, Pork Hock  +, writes (14 June 2007):
Ok so you are between the ages of 30-35...grow up! You told him you wouldn't respond etc...I actually got bored of reading your message. I actually checked your age as I thought you were 15.
My Mother died painfully of breast cancer when I was 30. I had a child at 29 and got married at 28. If you want to know what I think, I think you should take a long hard look at what is important and it isn't whether your boyfriend replied within a time zone. I would chop off my right arm to have 10 LUCID moments with my Mum, not a carcass, stinking of puss with no hair. Grow up for fucks sakes!
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (14 June 2007):
 He obviously likes you as he is doing the chasing even though you are already dating, i know it's against what you normally do but like i say to many people in this sort of situation play them at their own game and see how they like it maybe when they have been ignored for a few hours they will realise how annoying it can be.
Take care.xx.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2007): Call me old fashioned but for me texting can't replace the voice of the other person on the other end of the line. Give him a call - he shouldn't ignore you then but if he does then you probably need to think about where your relationship is going.
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