New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244945 questions, 1084256 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

He doesn't know I'm gay and neither am I clear about his orientation. Help!

Tagged as: Friends, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 December 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 23 December 2010)
A male Singapore age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Right now, I'm typing this with a miserable and lonely heart and I really need help and advice.

So basically there's this guy which I like and I can't stop thinking about. I've known this guy for about a year and we're friends. He doesn't know I'm gay and neither am I clear about his orientation.

I feel that he tends to flirt with me like when we're outside with a group of friends, our arms definitely brush against each other everytime and when we sit beside each other our knees will lay against each other. He constantly punches my chest and sometimes if we sit beside each other, he'll use that opportunity to lean on me and say he's tired... He calls my name many times for no reason as though trying to strike a convo but doesn't say anything and continues to punch my chest

But he talks about girls and told me how he brought them home in the past and added that he thinks his mom would freak out if he brought a guy home.

I really like him and I dunno what to do. Please advice and help me

View related questions: flirt

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A male reader, der_zyniker United States +, writes (23 December 2010):

I would tell him that you are gay, but not that you like him. I find that when I tell people that I am gay that tend to tell me their secrets because they feel like they can trust me. If he is gay then he probably feels trapped and needs someone to confide in and he will tell you in time IF he is gay. He might not tell you at first, but if he is gay he will probably tell you within a couple weeks for months. If he doesn't tell you that he is gay then there really is no point in telling him how you feel about him. I told one of my friends that I was gay and that I love him and I ended up losing him because it freaked him out. I told another friend that I like him and he told me that he was flattered but he is straight, and things didn't change between us. Everyone reacts differently to these sort of things. To be on the safe side just tell him that you are gay and leave it at that.

<-- Rate this answer

A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (22 December 2010):

dirtball agony auntThe comment I'm stuck on is his statement about how his mom would freak out if he brought a guy home. This implies he may be interested in doing that. The rest just sounds like buddy buddy type stuff.

You could try asking him, or even telling him you're gay. Perhaps his reaction to your confession of your sexual orientation will be more telling.

Honestly, some guys will get creeped out by this, but a good friend will be understanding. I know that if I had a guy friend confess feelings for me I'd be flattered even though I don't feel the same. Sometimes things are worse in our head then they turn out in reality.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "He doesn't know I'm gay and neither am I clear about his orientation. Help!"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0156557999998768!