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He doesn't get in touch with me the way he was with is ex

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 March 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 30 October 2011)
A female Ireland age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hey, I was wondering if you could all give me some advise as im in aid of some :(

Ive always had two main issues with my bf. Firstly, His EX and secondly when he texts me. But, Ill chat about the texts first as the ex will fit in... When i am with my bf its amazing. we are always saying that we love each other, we have a great time and we always have such a laugh - theres not a problem. But, its always when i dont see him... he rarely texts me? he only texts when we have to arrange when we are both meeting and when he does just text to say hi out the blue he leaves like 4 hour gaps in between texting me back and sometimes i dont even get a reply til the next day! But, when i am with him, and his band mates text him or actualyl any one of his friends text him, they will get instant replies and it kindda hurts me.

He says that when he is not seeing me he is doing his uni work and says he has planned his uni work around me so when we arent seeing each other he is doing his work and also other stuff and also he said he isnt much of a texter and i have always known that, which i have, but, how can he always manage to text his friends back and not me?

now his ex, they broke up years ago, but they were togeather for three years, and he said he was with her everyday and he never seen his friends and it was unhealthy. but, i always think about this, he constantly always wanyted to chat to her everyday and see her but he doesnt with me? why not? so, we had this argument last week and he said he will try and text back soemtimes, but he will definately phone me at the end of some nights, which is good. but , i know what he is like and this will only last two weeks tops til it goes back to being normal ... what should i do? give the guy a break or should i just end things if he cant even find the time to talk to his gf?

thanks

View related questions: a break, broke up, his ex, text

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (30 October 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntya know, he told you he doesn't like to text. my bf hates to text or email and that's how we did most of our early relationship (email) he still hates texting.. some folks just don't like it.

you say he calls at night... well you can call him too. my boyfriend does not think that daily contact with someone you are dating is necessary. He eventually accepted that I needed a daily phone call... but he did not do it for him... some folks don't need daily contact.

as for his ex... there's a reason she's the EX and maybe it was because they spent too much time together.

if you need more contact with your partner then perhaps this is not the right partner for you.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (30 October 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntOk well as for the texts. Maybe he is busy with Uni work. Maybe you should give him the benefit of the doubt if he is good to you in every other way. You have spoke to him so he knows how you feel, but if he is busy with Uni work well then he obviously doesn't want any distractions so ask him to drop you a text to let you know when he is going to be busy so that you don't disturb him.

As for the ex girlfriend well he has told you himself that it was unhealthy. Am sure its not a case of that he doesn't want to spend every day with you, its just from his past experience he knows that it is not healthy and that he needs to balance his time between his girlfriend, his studies and his friends.

I guess if you are not happy in the relationship well then maybe you should move on, it is completely your choice on what you want to do. Either you accept the way things are or else move on.

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