A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So I met this guy via a dating app 9 months ago, we messaged for about 2 months but he was wary to meet up as he was still not entirely over his last relationship. I wanted to meet him but in the end he freaked out, back tracked and asked me not to message anymore.We then bumped into each other out and drunkenly slept together which then equally backfired as he once again freaked and said it shouldn’t of happened. We stopped talking and I met someone else, that ended a few months later and I was hurt but got back in touch with the first guy, just as friends at first. He appeared to be in a really good place and so we started seeing each other but taking it slowly as I was honest that I wasn’t quite ready. We spoke openly about everything and despite my worries he reassured me he was okay to go at my pace. Being with him made me start to forget my ex and care very deeply for him. I then excitedly prepared to tell him this and how I wanted to be with him but he has now once again backtracked saying he doesn’t want me, saying I can’t of changed my mind, I’m not over my ex and I caused this, he’s now ignoring me. I’m so confused as literally 2 days before everything was good, he was amazing to be with and you can’t fake that but now I feel like an idiot and confused.What do I do?
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (30 October 2018):
 What do you do? Thank your lucky stars you have discovered so early in your relationship that he is a flake and kick him into touch. How many times does he have to show you he is unreliable? As the saying goes, "madness is doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different result". Three times should be more than enough for anyone.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2018): It seems to me that he is not over his ex thus the reason for blaming you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2018): Whether it was 'good and he was amazing' is irrelevant asides from all that he is repeatedly pissing you around so you have to conclude he is just as into you as what you would like him to be.
Trust me if a man wants to be with you he will be and sorry but he clearly doesn't because even if he is getting over his ex he would still take it slowly with you if he liked you, he has been on the dating sight months he must know what the hell he is doing on it and it isn't to play tiddlywinks with women he speaks to and meets!!
He was right the first time in how he felt, block him and move on
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (30 October 2018):
 So he’s backed away 3 times now, that should be plenty of indication to show he’s a complete waste of time. I’d of took his advice after the first time though when he told you not to message again.
Block and move on.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (30 October 2018):
 You drop him.
Honestly, OP HOW many times are you going to LET this guy reel you in and the push you away?
I don't think he was telling the truth when he claimed that he doesn't believe you are over your ex, he just USED that as a convenient excuse for "running" away and probably because HE isn't over HIS ex, but don't want to admit it.
You are in the 35+ age group so I would have to ask WHY would you give a guy with SO many *I have baggage* red flags chance after chance? Is it THAT slim pickings where you are at?
No offense.! You can do SO much better.
And yes, I see it as a RED ASS flag when a guy is on a dating app but claims he isn't over his ex. Then why go on a dating app?! It makes no sense. And in a way it's a bit cruel as someone like you might still think there is something here and HE then strings you along until he gets a kind of cold feet, drop you, hurts you... and then gets right back at it.
I think you NEED to accept that this man isn't over his ex. He isn't ready to date. He just didn't want to be alone while working through the "post-break up".
CUT him off TOTALLY. If you meet him on a night out, be polite but don't fall back into the mistake to think sleeping with him will kick-start something serious, it won't.
And.... are you entirely sure he actually IS single?
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