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He disappears on the weekends..

Tagged as: Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 September 2011) 7 Answers - (Newest, 19 September 2011)
A female United Kingdom age , anonymous writes:

have been talking seriously with this spanish man on fb..who seemes too good to be true..is the most charming , sensistive man i have ever spoken to....he say's he's fallen for me and would like to meet me in London , as i'm from the uk and he's from spain...the problem is he just seems to dissaperar over the weekends sometimes and tells me it's work as he works in the summer months as a dj in ibiza...and the rest of the year in Barcelona doing something else...he say's he's single and also has single on his status....anyway, this ignoring me over the weekend is really getting to me and am now having second thoughts about him, but i have now formed a strong bond with him....bit stupid i know and i did give him a hard time to begin with....what do you think ??

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2011):

I would never go out with a charming man again. Charm is like a very powerful currency that can wheedle men into all sorts of situations that initially seem "access denied". The more charming the man, likely the more that he is adept at getting what he wants from a situation and from people. In my experience, charm usually is used to cover up many flaws, secrets and lies. Give me an awkward, honest and initially probably boring guy any time. My days with charmers are over. Most likely he wants to set up a "port" in London where he can stay and be shown around town. A single DJ who works in Ibiza and Barcelona? And you seriously believe that you have developed a bond with him on FB? Are you kidding me?

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A female reader, chickpea2011 United States +, writes (19 September 2011):

chickpea2011 agony auntHi,

I think you are getting stress for no reason. Why don't you give him a chance, believe him when he says he's working on weekends? Also, he might be spending time with family, and friends. People need fo relax on weekends, and him working, I am not surprise he's a little busy. That's probably the only time he can do that, also take care of his personal chores...

As you mentioned before, he put his status as single? So, I do believe he is, because if he was in a relationship, the partner wouldn't allow to be so, right? Make sense...

I think that you have a good friend here. You said he's pleasant, nice, charming, so many good things about him. That's what matters, that you both enjoy each other, respect each other, get along, have things in common. Don't worry too much about not having so much contact on weekends as you would like. In the begin of any relationship, things are supposed to happen gradually. Just be happy, enjoy your new friend, and try to meet him. I think that after actually meeting him, thats when you could make any decisions about the relationship, and have clarity about his behavior.

I also think that making friends through Facebook, online its not silly at all. I don't think there's nothing wrong having feelings for him.

I hope you can meet him soon, and hope he's what you hope for, and that after the meeting you both can be much better friends, and who knows have a great relationship. Stop the negatives thoughts in your head...

Good luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2011):

You don't have a strong bond with him, you have a bunch of emails. If he is out of touch on the weekend there is a reason for that and it is most likely a gf/wife. I would stop contact. Good luck.

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A female reader, Eyespy17 United States +, writes (18 September 2011):

Trust your gut. Take things slow. Meet him if you want - but try not to get super attached and make sure you are dating / pursuing other people because if he is disappearing on weekends - he clearly has other women in his life - or maybe a GF that's not on FB.

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A female reader, Denise32 United States +, writes (18 September 2011):

Denise32 agony auntYou've been talking with him, but not met in person, correct?

Have you asked him for a phone number where you can contact him on the weekends? Presumably, if he's on the up and up, he has one......if he will not provide a contact number, then I'd be inclined to seriously question his supposed single status.

You tell us you have formed a "strong bond" with him. I hope you do realize that until you meet in person, any kind of bond is not actually real?

It's up to you what action you take, but it sounds as if "something's rotten in the State of Denmark." I hope I'm mistaken, but at some level, you know what's going on.

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A female reader, missie4450 United Kingdom +, writes (18 September 2011):

missie4450 agony auntok ,have you talk to him over the phone ? seen him on web

cam? never trust geezers u meet over the net!! always be safe than sorry hun x

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A male reader, soon567 United States +, writes (18 September 2011):

he's probably single as he say, but has to see his other wife/gf on the weekends. Tell him you will go with him the next time to see what he says.

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