A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I have written to you before about the fact that my bf confessed to having a cyber relationship when he was 16/17 with a girl he had known for five days. We had just started to have a relationship, but I was very slow to get involved physically and did not even kiss him for a long time. We are 20 now, in college and still together. He tells me I am the love of his life and he could not go on with this lie between us. Meanwhile, two years ago someone brought this girl up and he had the chance to tell me the truth and chose not to because he was "afraid" I would end it which back then I might have because we were still in high school. When he told me he had done this, he was crying hysterically and thought I would break up with him. He begged me not to, and I never really considered it. I was hurt and considered it cheating, but it was a long time ago and the circumstances were different. The problem is that I now have a little inkling of mistrust where there was none before and I hate that I do. It seems so stupid. If we disagree or have a misunderstanding on the phone where he is in a terrible mood, there is a part of me that goes back to when we were 16 and he acted this way and there had been something going on.Do you think because he did what he did and did not own it until three years later means he is a liar and a cheater overall? He gives me no reason to believe this now, but I would never have believed he was capable of that back then either. A little perspective would be great.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2007): He was 16- he was a kid, he hadn't matured yet. Guys grow up a lot between 16 and 24 (well most of them)- give him the benefit of the doubt, chalk it up to his age, and forget about it. He's honest enough to fess up... forgive and forget
A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (16 October 2007):
Not a cheater, just stupid for telling you about ancient history. Now it's up to you to put it in perspective.
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