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He didn't check up on me when I was in the hospital

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 June 2014) 6 Answers - (Newest, 30 June 2014)
A female United States age 22-25, *zzygurl writes:

Hey everyone...

I'm really going through a lot right now and it's hurting me. So me and my boyfriend been going out for a while now but he broke up with me because he said we have different personality, but we started talking again and tried to work things out.

I did everything for this guy, I cooked for him, planned a picnic because he likes outdoors, and sometimes l take him out on dates when he's mad at me just to make it up to him. I would also pick him up from work and even borrowed my mums car to get him because my car was getting fixed.

So the day after I did that, I was sick, went to the emergency room I told him he was like "ok", then I said come take care of him he was like "uhh can't" I mean he could've at least said I wish I could if he really can't. So I was in the emergency for sometime he didn't even text to check on me, it's been three days now he hasn't texted me since I told him I'm in the emergency room.

So yesterday was his birthday I texted and said happy birthday he didn't text back. But he replied to other people telling him happy birthday on social network. This really hurt me after giving him my all and my heart he broke it once I didn't think he would do it again I feel so stupid. :'(

View related questions: broke up, text

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A female reader, izzygurl United States +, writes (30 June 2014):

izzygurl is verified as being by the original poster of the question

izzygurl agony auntHe finally text me yesterday saying "sorry" and that he left his charger In his dorm because he went home for his birthday. But he could post on instagram and talking to other people on social network, he knew I would see it too, I don't believe him so I didn't reply him. Thanks everyone for the eye opening advice I really appreciate it :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2014):

Oh geez, I had one of those when I was 18 (which was 3 years ago).

I didn't trust my gut and ended up wasting 1 year of my life with a guy that made me miserable.

Please get away.

It is obviously that he doesn't care. I even make sure I go with my boyfriend when he takes his shots, as he has some health issues and I'm afraid he might pass out. If I, for a more serious reason, had to go to the hospital and he didn't give a flying duck, I would dump him so fast.

I mean, I don't expect a boyfriend to come over rushing for a sore thoat, but I'd expect him to at least to text or call.

About the birthday, I think it's another proof of him not caring. I would eagerly expect formy boyfriend's "happy bday" text, and would make sure to a)spend time with him and b)ttalk to him. I just don't know how someone can just shut down people like that.

Anyways: you obviously deserve better. Get rid of him. It will hurt for a couple months, but it will save you SO MUCH heartbreak and stress.

Be happy dear :-)

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (30 June 2014):

Honeypie agony auntEh, he sounds like a craptastic BF. If this is what you "get" from him you are better off single.

I agree with the other Aunties/Uncles. TRY not to be so OVERTLY people pleaser who bends over backwards to make someone else happy. Spoiling a partner here and there is GREAT, but don't over do it.. AND don't do it with strings attached. Don't do it so THEY have to do things for you, that is unfair.

YOU are rowing this relationship rowboat ALL by yourself, my guess is you were before as well. All you get get is going in circles.

The guy is NOT who you want him to be. He is an ucaring git.

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A female reader, 02DuszJ United Kingdom + , writes (29 June 2014):

02DuszJ agony auntThis guy is NOT someone you need spend another milithought on... He is a scumbag that can't treat another person with basic COURTESY and decency... What kind of soulless freak doesn't even check you're ok when you're in a hospital bed?? Lol! Even if you don't like a person much, (I don't think he has ANY goodness actually) AND ignores your messages when you're in this state...

This isn't personal- he's clearly some sort of sociopath... Therefore he likely knew how to manipulate you into emotionally investing in him... And then becoming his slave... Like every other person in the world you've been driven to delusion by emotion, and you needn't beat yourself up. Maybe not people like him, with no capacity for anything but selfishness...

It's not a crime to open your heart to someone. But now it's time to build that guard around yourself, with help of people who DO care about you. Grieve and let them emotionally support you. Take your mind off it on whatever you feel like doing, don't feel guilty whatever it is.

You'll come out much stronger and wiser to the scum in the world. And it will be a revelation.

Take care! :)

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy + , writes (29 June 2014):

Anonymous 123 agony auntThis isn't a relationship, this isn't even a friendship. This man doesn't give a hoot about you, he's utterly selfish and he's wrong when he says you have different personalities. The truth is that he doesn't have one at all... he seems completely devoid of it.

Keep your heart for someone special who will value you and cherish you...not this idiot. Remember, it's his loss, not yours. Don't contact him again because as far as he's concerned, the relationship is over, and you should treat it the same way.

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A male reader, Mark1978 United Kingdom +, writes (29 June 2014):

Mark1978 agony auntHello,

The mistake you made was trying too hard and been too keen to please. You were giving this guy everything you could - acting like you free taxi service, his cook, his cleaner...! Even when he fell out with you, you would fawn all over him to get him back on your side. Mean while he sat back and lapped it up. He doesn't care about you nor does he treat you properly or lift a finger for you, but you run around after him left, right and centre.

Sorry to be blunt OP but you have let yourself become his slave instead of his equal. Ditch this prick and move on. In future, don't be so keen to cook, clean and drive around your boyfriends. They will only use you for our services.


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