A
female
age
41-50,
*licia
writes:My boyfriend and I were working in the office yesterday. After a while he had to take over from what I was doing and I sat waiting for him. We were talking a little,but every time I was telling him a story he either wouldn't answer me or he would cut me in the middle of my story and talk about something else . He kept doing it. But if he was telling me stuff or talking to me I would listen and respond and not cut him off. I got angry with this and just stopped talking to him because I felt its rude to cut someone off.When I told him he laughed it off and made fun of me. When I told him to stop making fun of me he started laughing which made me even more mad.he does this not listening or cutting me off a lot even when we are just chilling. I just felt like he does it because he isn't interested in my stories. So I was cross for the rest of that evening. On our way home I confronted him and he said he doesn't see why I was mad and small things like that shouldn't make me angry and he doesn't understand why I'm so mad. He said people do it all the time. Is this true? Was I right to be angry or should I apologise? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (22 April 2016):
 This is an interesting question... However you were at work, he was taking over from you, so was it appropriate timing for story telling from either of you? For all we know, he could have been focused on work and you may have wanted to gossip, hence why he wouldn't answer, cut you off, changed the subject?
At home it appears he does much the same as at work. This appears to be part of his nature? Some people have no manners or patience, a short attention span, so it’s up to you to tell him not to interrupt and pay attention when you speak. Be sure it’s worth his while to listen to you… that is if it’s gossip, a man may not be interested? But when you’re sharing your feelings, or discussing an issue, he must shut up and listen! You must teach him this.
I believe there is no need for you to apologise… you had a concern which he needed to listen too and in turn give you his explanation… and yes “People do it all the time.” , and that’s what makes those people rude, ignorant and insensitive to those that need to be heard.
Maybe your BF, just like the people who do this all the time don’t understand how inconsiderate interrupting is? There’s a big difference when you’re exchanging stories, where everyone gets to pipe in their similar story, and another not to be listened to, be made fun of and laughed at.
Take Care – CCA
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2016): I personally do this a lot. I think it's a social trait to try to think of things to progress a conversation. Once something is lodged in your mind you may get a sudden urge to talk about it. For example, my girlfriend will start telling me a story. I'll think of another similar story for after but will want to interrupt in case I forget it. Happens with everyone, I'd like to think I'm conscious of it now and don't interrupt her so hopefully he'll get a handle on it over time. Being argumentative and trying to annoy him in the same way he's annoying you will lead to fights and friction in the relationship. Be open and honest, don't do tit for tat; it's not how you handle anything in a healthy relationship.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (19 April 2016):
 I sadly do this to my husband and it drives him nuts. In MY defense it's part of my ADHD...doesn't mean it's right.
I'm working on learning to listen better. it's hard. it sometimes involves notes or i forget stuff..
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 April 2016):
 Well, yes interrupting is bad form, no doubt .
But.. you need to be very honest with yourself , OP, some people are so awful at telling stories or making conversation, that the temptation is too strong also for a mild mannered person . We are only human.
The " never interrupt " rule was drilled into my head as a child, and I DO follow it the best that I can... but at times ,for instance, I find myself interrupting my son, who is one of those people who cannot ever give you a simple answer to a simple question, or sum up something in a couple of phrases. For everything, everything ! he always has to start way back then, when Adam and Eve and the snake... and let me tell you, it gets tiring.
Other people just keep saying the same things over and over , for the pleasure of hearing themselves talk , and there's no amount of polite " Ahem.. I think you told me that already ? " which will stop them. Some just do not have the knack of telling things, they will " kill " even the most dramatic or amusing story and make it boring, or will get it all garbled mixing up details, times, characters etc.
So , OP, I suggest an exercise in humility and self observation, by the end of which you will know if your bf is just a rude, impatient boor... or if his nerves are severely tried by your narrations.
Another thought, then : maybe your bf, by changing subject and not answering, was, in his own way, tryng to NOT be rude. I mean, it's clear he was not that interested in what you had to say ( which is OK, OP ! We can't all have only interesting things to say at all times, it's normal that even your bf or your parents or best friends may be occasionally not that keen to know more about a certain something ! - and you did not get the first hint, just relentlessly pursued your mind track. To stop you he would have had to say " Listen, I don't care about this, you are annoying me " - which may be more sincere but surely comes off more harsh and confrontational than necessary- so he tried to divert your attention toward other stuff by changing subject .
In short OP... food for thought... maybe this is not your case at all, but, in general,... it is rude to interrupt, but it is also rude to blow people's ears with stuff they have not manifested any evident interest for ......
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (19 April 2016):
 Ask him if he cuts off his boss at work?? If he would cut off an elected official? His father?
Only people who do not respect the person they're talking to behaves the way he does. Be angry and stand your ground. If he does it, say "EXCUSE ME" or "LET ME FINISH" in a sharp voice like the sound of a whip cracking. Do it in front of others if need be.
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (19 April 2016):
 No need to apologize.
But TRY and start interrupting him, see how HE likes it. It might be that he REALLY isn't quite aware how badly he keeps interrupting. I'd point it out to him that way.
And I DO think that he interrupts because he isn't interested in what you have to say or HOW you tell you story. Or he HAS heard it all before. Now IF it was because he was trying to work and KEEP it on a work-related topic, then you NEED to stick with that and have the story telling AFTER work or when THAT is appropriate.
Interrupting is RUDE, pure and simple.
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