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He constantly takesdigs at me.

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 December 2014) 7 Answers - (Newest, 15 December 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I met this guy at work who is a few years younger than me. At first i didn't particularly like him as a person as he seemed quite immature and arrogant but over time i warmed to him a bit.

He has since left but gave me his number and we've been texting back and forth. He also calls me quite often. I know that he likes me as more than a friend because he's asked me out on a number of occasions but i've always turned him down. In all honestly he's just not my type but i didn't have a problem in being friends.

Recently his behaviour towards me has been somewhat odd. I told him that i had a date on Saturday and he got quite nasty. The texts went like this:

Me: I've got a date Saturday. x

Him: Don't lie

Me: Why would i lie? x

Him: Are you a virgin? x

Me: No. Why would you say something like that? What does that have to do with me going on a date?

Him: You seem uptight when i mention sex. I'm just pleased that you're finally losing your v-card. You keep telling yourself you have a boyfriend. That's the first step to actually getting one. x

Me: Don't be an a**hole

Him: You're too sensitive. x

That's the kind of thing he'll say to me and if i act offended he'll say i'm too sensitive. Today he asked i was still going on a date Saturday, i said i was. He then said he'd seen i have a sister on Facebook and that she was "smoking hot" and if she was single. When i said "oh, thanks". He again said i was being too sensitive. He constantly makes digs at me.

Am i overreacting? Should i stop talking to him?

View related questions: at work, facebook, immature, text

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (15 December 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntAnd what exactly do you get out of this "friendship"

I would ignore him totally when he's stupid. Which based on what you have shared is most of the time.

Idiot's words said to incite you to respond.

Like a bad toddler or puppy any attention is good attention...

IF you (for some reason) feel the need to keep him in your life, ONLY respond to positive things. And do not discuss dating.

HE WANTS more. He's being a jerk because he can't get what he wants. He SETTLES for being a "friend" but he's angry that he wants MORE than a friend and he acts out in hopes that he can entice you to be with him more combative or otherwise.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2014):

There are actually men out there who truly believe insulting a woman makes her like them...some men even pay for classes in how to insult women in order to "woo" her.

He sounds like a complete dick, I would stop texting him. What business is it of his if you have a date/your sex life/your life in general? He sounds like a chauvinistic pig and I wouldn't waste your time on him.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (13 December 2014):

Honeypie agony auntEh, why keep him around? He certainly isn't a friend. I'd just block/delete his number and move on. He sounds like a dickwad.

I think he is more like a 5 year old then someone in his 20's. He likes attention ANY attention, both negative or positive.

I don't know WHY you waste time on this fella to be honest.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (13 December 2014):

Ciar agony auntI think your initial assessment of this guy was correct. Time to put some distance between yourself and him (without any announcements or confrontations - you don't need that at work).

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A female reader, WhenCowsAttack United States +, writes (13 December 2014):

Ugh, I wouldn't want to interact with him. What a douche. Weirdly, it reads to me like he actually has some kind of thing for you and a 12 year old mentality of dealing with it. Immature. He'd probably be abusive if you did date him.

Yup, cut contact.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2014):

OP here. He text me this morning.

Him: I cancelled my date

Me: why?

Him: dunno

Me: oh ok?

Him: I'm so hungover

Me: Glad I don't drink

Him; go f**k yourself

Me: excuse me?

He didn't answer after that.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (13 December 2014):

Aunty BimBim agony auntThis person is not adding anything positive to your life, his questions about your intimate life are creepy and its none of his business, his saying crap that is way out of line and then telling you you are too sensitive is abusive and why haven't you blocked him.

He is a negative influence and you don't need it, Stop talking to him, block his number, block him on social media and fill the space he once occupied with somebody who adds good things to your life rather than negatives.

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