| A
female
,
*aded
writes: I just found out that before we met, my boyfriend was having a sexual relationship with a woman who has a live-in boyfriend of 18 years. He obviously didn't care that he was having sex with someone else's girlfriend. And worse than that, he introduced me to this woman not too long ago as 'his friend'. He still corresponds with her via emails. Now I don't trust him.......should I? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, beenthere +, writes (7 November 2005):
there is no reason to think he'll cheat on you. he may not have thought he was doing anything wrong as he was not in a relationship with anyone else. be careful though but if you don't trust him, don't be with him
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2005): No absolutely not. He will do the same thing to you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2005): You should be concerned and be treading carefully. Your boyfriend's old gf has taken on another role in his his life, that of close friend. We don’t know if she will makes life difficult for you, as many ex-gf's do but it is a very uncertain, awkward position for you and I understand your feelings and they are getting in the way of having a normal committed, loving relationship with him. Simple solution: You have to make it a her-or-me situation.
His track record is poor and he if messed around with an unavailable woman-then you are taking a big chance with him. But, everybody can change, if they want to. If they are in contact via e-mail-I would sit him down and tell him how this makes you feel. Trust is the foundation of any relationship and in order for you to begin trusting him -he must choose-her or you. Don't be afraid to set tough boundries with this man..
Remember, many of the choices he'll make with respect to the commitment he has with you, will be dependent on his character, and how he chooses to keep this relationship with you, intact and solid. Trust-building would be the focus of building in this relationship right now. You do have insecurities that his behaviors are setting off and that is perfectly understandable. You need to communicate with him, set the boundries, he has to dump this "friend' and you both need to examine your expectations in your relationship. If he doesn't want to compromise, then please re-evaluate your relationship. Good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (3 November 2005):
 Oh yes he's cheating on you, men who lack honor and integrity will continue to cheat. Dump him and don't look back. You will find a wonderful man who will treat you with the respect you deserve. You won't regret it I promise.
...............................
A
female
reader, Jackie +, writes (3 November 2005):
If you relationship is serious than you need to talk to him and try to get him to realize your feelings on him talking to an old flame! If he has respect for your feelings than he will respect them! Give him time to come to his senses when you confront him, don't expect him to just drop the conversation with her because "you said so" unfortuantly it doesn't work that way with men, they have a very little understanding on why it's not okay to do what they do, so to have a healthy relationship just always show your feelings in a respctiable manner and always listen to his side of the story! If you're still having trust issues than it might be you and not him!
...............................
A
female
reader, Topps +, writes (2 November 2005):
Urm..tricky. My first feeling is, he is cheating on you..sorry. I think maybe he has been seeing her, she wont leave her partner, so he cant have her so he has got someone else - you. But they still cant leave each other alone. I also think if it is not sexual at the moment, it probably has been and maybe again. Ask yourself, how many of your ex's do you keep in regular contact with? Just re-read your message, and definitely think he is cheating. Move on, dont get hurt/used anymore!
...............................
|
