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He cheated on me a long time ago... Now, I'm considering doing the same. Is that wrong?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 March 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 6 March 2008)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am engaged but i just found out that my fiance cheated on me a long time ago. So i'm really feeling down. I ran into this guy i used to be in love with but we broke it off because of the distance. This old flame wants to meet up and go out but i already know what will be in store. I know 2 wrongs don't make a right but i wouldn't be just doing it to get back at my fiance, I just would like to see him and see how life has been treating him. Is that wrong? Should i meet up?

View related questions: cheated on me, engaged, fiance

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A female reader, duskyrowe United Kingdom +, writes (6 March 2008):

duskyrowe agony auntThere is a saying. "Two wrongs don't make a right".

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (6 March 2008):

Tisha-1 agony auntTrouble ahead, dear, trouble ahead. Revenge sex won't make you feel better about the relationship with your fiancée. You can always catch up with an old friend over the phone. Why not instead spend some time dealing with your feelings of being betrayed by your fiancée?

Talk to him, tell him you're not over it yet.

I'm curious as to exactly how long you'd been an item when your fiancée strayed. Was it before you were engaged? Were you on a break? When is your wedding?

Don't go where you're thinking--it will not solve your problem!

All the best.

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A female reader, hlskitten United Kingdom +, writes (6 March 2008):

hlskitten agony auntRevenge is a dish best served cold?

Maybe, just maybe, you have lost respect for this guy that has cheated on you. I would too! The better person in me says dont meet the ex, the vengeful person in me, says do!

I would meet up with him, see what the score is then decide from there. I wouldnt literally cheat on the fiance. But if the ex is free and single and you split for reasonable reasons, and he wants back, i would quit the fiance and see what happens with the ex. Because i couldn't get my head round being cheated on, and personally would of cut my losses and gone as soon as i found out. But thats all just my opinion on the situation. And only you know what you want deep down.

Sorry cant be of any more help than that.

C xxxxx

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A female reader, Jargenhunter United States +, writes (6 March 2008):

If you know it would lead to a sexual encounter, or an emotional encounter that would put you in a bad place then you should not go. You were hurt when you found out your fiance cheated on you, to cheat (emotional or physically)on him would lower you to a place unbefitting of a woman such as yourself.

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