A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok, this is probably going to sound like I'm a complete bitch, but I do have a conscience and I do feel bad about what I'm doing here. I'm 26 and have been with my bf for 2 years. He cheated on me a year ago, and has been flirting online with other girls up until a couple months ago when I found out. I loved him more than I've ever loved anybody and he hurt me very much. Then there's this other guy... He lives in my town and is the local postman. He's gorgeous and has shown quite a lot of interest in me. He has a girlfriend, but has always complained that they don't get on. He said he's tried to break it off several times, but her tears get the better of him every time. (This was all before anything happened).We swapped cell numbers and texted each other, which ended up being quite flirty and he kisses me every morning now when he drops off my mail, even if he has none for me. I know it sounds like I'm just getting revenge on my boyfriend, but that's not entirely the case. I do really like this guy, and my boyfriend has hurt me unbelieveably. We live together, and are moving to a new place on Friday and I don't really want him to come with me, because I can never trust him again, but I do still love him. I have the sense to know that it can't work between us because of the lack of trust. The thing with the new guy has only been going on a few days, so I don't expect him to go and dump his gf for me. Why would he, knowing I'm still with my boyfriend? I'm completely lost and have no idea what to do here! Can anyone offer me some sound advice here please? Again, I know it probably sounds like I'm just as bad as my boyfriend, but before all this came out, he wouldn't sleep with me because he says he's depressed and he's also a major manipulator. I really don't know what to do anymore :(Thanks for listening,
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cheated on me, depressed, flirt, has a girlfriend, revenge, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (4 November 2010):
If you're not happy with someone you are with, you need to break it off. It takes two people to form a relationship and right now neither of you are in it. He was cheating and flirting with others and now you're more concerned with another man than with him.A relationship is not a healthy thing for either of you right now. You both need to take time to be alone and reconsider your thoughts. Maybe you'll realize how much you truly love your boyfriend and he'll realize the same thing. Maybe you'll realize its much better that you're apart.As far as things with the other man, that's between him and his girlfriend. He won't stay with her if she doesn't make him happy, but do you want to be with another guy who would easily give up his current relationship for another woman? Because that's exactly what he's doing, only its happening to someone else instead of you. Take the alone time to think about what you want. Best of luck.
A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave  +, writes (4 November 2010):
regardless of the situation with the postman, you need to end your current relationship as the trust has gone.
it may hurt to hear this, but if he cheated on you a a year ago and has been regularly flirting with other girls on line, how many others has he been with?
you've also said he's manipulating, is this really how a relationship should be? I don't think so.
once you've dumped your bf, you need to take stock and not rush into anything with the postman or anyone.
you need to build up a trust with someone before you allow them in or risk facing a repeat.
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A
female
reader, I-Love-CSI +, writes (4 November 2010):
I think you should break it off with your boyfriend. It's obvious that he has hurt you badly and he shouldn't have flirted with other girls while in a relationship with you.
But wait for a while before trying to ask out this other guy; or it'll seem like he's just a rebound guy.
Also, you've got to remember that the mail man is in a relationship too so be careful not to seduce him while he's still with her. Wait until he has decided that he does not want to be with this other woman.
Good luck :)
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