A
male
age
41-50,
*urt and betrayed
writes:I am heartbroken, my partner who I lived with for 3 years not only cheated and lied for the last 8 weeks of our relationship but got a woman he had a brief fling with pregnant. He has shown no remorse for what he did and has walked away from all our responsibilities, he has fallen off the radar...I don't know what to do? How do I get over this? Why has he done this to me?
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (5 February 2010):
 He didn't do it TO you - he did it despite of his relationship with you.
Why did he do it? Who knows.
As I see it, you need to look for the silver lining here. And it is huge! He is out of your life. No more wasting time on a man who isn't there for you 100%.
I know it hurts to be betrayed, but you have to realize that this is not about you. It's about him. His lacking morals and values, not to mention his lack of love and respect for you.
It was HIS choice to cheat, lie and disrespect you. You didn't "make" him cheat, you didn't "make" him lie and you certainly didn't "make" him disrespect you.
Understand that it is OK to grieve the loss of the relationship, but just don't wallow in self pity. You can do better, you deserve better.
Let it go. Let him go. He isn't worth a darn. Concentrate on YOU, YOUR happiness and YOUR future.
A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (5 February 2010):
 I'm so sorry for the pain that you are feeling. There really isn't one pact answer that anyone can give you. The cold hard truth is that the guy just didn't care enough about your feelings. He just did what he wanted to do, and when it was over with, you didn't matter. Sadly, there are many people in the world like that...the put themselves and their pleasure first, and don't consider anyone else. Unfortunately, you met up with and were with a guy like this. All you can do is give yourself time to heal. Its going to hurt, that's for sure, but never stop believing in yourself. Do not let some jerk destroy you, he wasn't/isn't worth it. I have been where you are, and it hurts so very very much...but as cliche as it sounds, time does lessen the pain, I promise. Immerse yourself in your friends, family, work, find out who you are again, and eventually one day you will wake up and realize that you are better off without the jerk. Stay strong.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2010): This man isnt worth your tears.. I'm going to be honest with you, it's going to take you a long time to get over such a painful experience. As much as you think this man was everything you ever wanted and that he was the most perfect being on this planet, you will soon realise that things look alot more appealing through rose tinted glasses and no matter how good you are at judging character, when you fall in love all that goes out the window! Was this man ever a bit controling (or what you would have called "protective") Did he ever ask you 21 questions about were you had been and who with? (or what you would have called "being interested") Did he ever get paranoid or jelous? (or what you probably took as him being "so inlove with you and scared of loosing you to anyone else?") if any of these answers are yes then its more than likley that he has been playing mind games with you, controlling you without you even realising it, but as the months go on you will start to realise how trapped you were in this relationship and you will start to see him for who he really is. Please dont let his lack of remorse upset you, you would be suprised how people are like that, when you thought they would never do anything to hurt you and would be devistated if they did! The reason he is acting so coldly is because there is noway he can talk his way out of this one so he isnt even bothering trying! cut him out your life and move on. it will hurt for a while but it wont last forever i promise. i know it hurts so badly you wish you would just fall asleep and never wake up sometimes but your better than him and it wont take you long to realise this.. if you need to talk then im always here, i know EXACTLY what your going through! xxx
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