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He can’t stay hard, please help us, we don’t know what to do!

Tagged as: Health, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 April 2016) 4 Answers - (Newest, 28 April 2016)
A female South Africa age 36-40, *hatsi writes:

I have five years with this guy, everything was cool while having sex but now his penis don't stay strong it even goes down before ejaculation please help us we don't know what to do I love this guy so much

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2016):

He should have seen his doctor as soon as he noticed something wasn't right. Try to remain calm. He may be more concerned by your reaction and what you're thinking; than what he feels about it himself.

Once he sees a doctor, he will calm down and the fear and stress will subside. A licensed and professional healthcare specialist is needed in this case. There is nothing anyone here can tell you. A medical examination and tests may be required.

Doesn't he have healthcare insurance? Is that why you've come here instead of seeing a doctor?

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A female reader, thatsi South Africa +, writes (27 April 2016):

thatsi is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I will try to talk to him because he's becoming scared about what is happening to him

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2016):

He has to get a complete physical examination to determine the reason for the erectile dysfunction; which can be caused by a number of reasons. He must make sure he isn't suffering from the onset of diabetes; or some other treatable medical condition, which may have other serious medical complications if left unchecked.

Statistically, men are less likely to get physicals and seek healthcare. We are notorious for ignoring the warning signs of oncoming or lingering illnesses; until there is permanent damage. Encourage him to see a doctor, but behave rationally.

First-off, get a grip on your emotional reaction to this.

You cause more harm than good to panic, or jumping to conclusions. That kind of irresponsible and thoughtless behavior leads to passing blame and creating guilt. Men often don't discuss or address their medical issues for this very reason. Especially where their sexual-performance is concerned. You cause more serious sexual-anxiety, if you let your imagination get the better of you; or react as though he's less of a man. Which is going to be his first impression; even if you tell him otherwise.

Losing an erection is not the end of the world and you wouldn't appreciate an overreaction if you suddenly put on a few pounds for whatever reason. These things happen.

Be supportive and handle this maturely. Read as much as you can and back-off. Lower the stress level; so you don't cause him performance-anxiety that may not subside for a long-time. If he feels you don't respect his manhood, or verbalized uninformed notions and speculations about why this has suddenly happened.

A penis is not a robotic appendage. Sometimes it doesn't function.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (26 April 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntIf it has happened suddenly and nothing has changed for it to happen then maybe he should go to his doctor to make sure that everything is in working order.

It could be a number of reasons that is causing this, work, stress, anxiety, change of diet, sleep habits, medication, worry. So talk to him and see if he is feeling okay and if nothing has changed in his lifestyle then see a doctor and allow them to examine him.

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