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He can't stay hard now. Is he losing his attraction to me?

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Question - (19 August 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 19 August 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi Me and my boyf have been together for about 4 months and have been having sex for about 3 months. At first we were doing it a lot! Around 3 times every time we saw eachother! But recently we start having sex and his penis goes limp, its happened a few times this week, or its not as hard as it used to be, why do you think this is? he makes an excuse like he doesnt feel well or the condoms too tight or something silly like that but its happened 3 or 4 times recently do you think he's becoming less attracted to me?

View related questions: condom, limp, too tight

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A female reader, Stayc63088 United States +, writes (19 August 2012):

Stayc63088 agony auntI had it happen with a boyfriend before my husband as well but he didn't know he problem. He got upset and thought it was some issue he was having. It was the same thing, we had sex everyday for a little while and eventually when we started trying he could get semi hard then lose it completely. He didn't understand why it was happening and got upset with himself, if I had known what I know now from my husband I could've just taken a break and all would have been well. So if you mean "going limp" in the same way as I have just described I stand by my original post and just give it some time and a break. If that doesn't work then he may have stress or other problems and need to see a dr. Either way it isn't you.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (19 August 2012):

If he's not feeling well, or if he's stressed, that might be the cause of them problem. You're not the problem at all.

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A male reader, Dr.LanceMerryweather United Kingdom +, writes (19 August 2012):

Dr.LanceMerryweather agony auntNo, he's not become less attracted to you, at all. It's a psychological thing - and definitely nothing to do with having too much sex either. If it was, he wouldn't be able to get it up at all or if he did, he wouldn't be able to come. That's the only effect of too much.

Maybe it's the anxiety of being able to perform. Guys put themselves under a lot of pressure to perform satisfactorily. I recommend he visits his G.P. and see what he says or recommends.

It's definitely nothing to do with the excuses he's giving you either, that's just embarrassment.

Good luck.

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A female reader, Stayc63088 United States +, writes (19 August 2012):

Stayc63088 agony auntWhen you have sex too frequently this will eventually happen. I won't pretend to understand all the working of the penis, but the same thing happened in my relationship in the beginning and he explained there's only so many times a man can go before he can't anymore and needs a break. Give it a week and go again, all should be fine.

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