A
female
age
18-21,
*Jess*
writes:Hello, my best friend and I have just been discussing some relationship problems she has been having with her boyfriend, I recommended that we ask the question on here because her boyfriend doesn't seem to want to get help for it. Basically, he has sexual difficulties. But that's only the simple version, he has problems with his foreskin because of an injury he had as a child and it often hurts him but they had figured out ways around that, however he is still having problems, there are times when he can't stay hard and he can't get hard again for a very long time after he has any kind of sexual activity because he says it hurts or he is too tired, (long time as in hours or even days.) The thing is, although my friend is understanding of this, they have been together for about 9 months and it is starting to put strain on their relationship. He gets really angry about it and becomes quite distant with her after sex, this is understandable on some levels but the problem is that my friend has spoken to him about it, suggested possible reasons such as him 'overthinking' about staying hard and shes suggested circumscision or going to see a doctor but he won't go because he says its embarrassing. What we are asking is if someone can advise a way to persuade him to do something about it or maybe advice as to what could be the problem?? Thanks xx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (19 March 2008):
 Well I must agree with "Jmo" that he should "take care of the damn thing" and I consider his avoidance because the problem is "embarrassing" to be a rather lame excuse. Doctors have to see and deftly help modest people for embarrassing situations all the time, especially those who deal with urology and such. So my suggestion to "persuade him" might be to insist that the medical professionals are there to help, not to mock his problem, and if that does not work, your friend might consider withholding her favors or begin shopping for another lover. Harsh, perhaps, but her happiness is equally important.
A
female
reader, Jmo +, writes (18 March 2008):
 Any time there's pain in that area, it's not really something you want to ignore. While I don't know the details of his problem specifically, I'm sure whatever it is can be taken care of easily. Maybe it's psychological maybe it's physical (you mentioned problems with his foreskin, it could be a frenulum breve and I knew a guy who had that. There's a few other foreskin problems mentioned at www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/generalhealth/menshealth/foreskinproblems). Anyways, whatever the problem is it should be addressed it could be serious... but you already know that. Give his penis my regards and tell him to take care of the damn thing.
-Jmo
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