A
female
age
18-21,
*Jess*
writes:Hello, my best friend and I have just been discussing some relationship problems she has been having with her boyfriend, I recommended that we ask the question on here because her boyfriend doesn't seem to want to get help for it. Basically, he has sexual difficulties. But thats only the simple version, he has problems with his foreskin because of an injury he had as a child and it often hurts him but they had figured out ways around that, however he is still having problems, there are times when he can't stay hard and he can't get hard again for a very long time after he has any kind of sexual activity because he says it hurts or he is too tired, (long time as in hours or even days.) The thing is, although my friend is understanding of this, they have been together for about 9 months and it is starting to put strain on their relationship. He gets really angry about it and becomes quite distant with her after sex, this is understandable on some levels but the problem is that my friend has spoken to him about it, suggested possible reasons such as him 'overthinking' about staying hard and shes suggested circumscision or going to see a doctor but he won't go because he says its embarrassing. What we are asking is if someone can advise a way to persuade him to do something about it or maybe advice as to what could be the problem?? Thanks xx
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female
reader, Skeez + ♥, writes (20 March 2008):
 Just basically say to him
'Go to the doctors or we are going to have to deal with this problem forvermore and we may have to break up becuase of it' I know it does sound harsh, but he needs to realise that he does need help if he wants to still have this sexual relationship with his girlfriend, or they can just go without the sex. Simple as. She should offer to go with him, and why should he be embaressed? Im sure the doctors and nurses have seen plenty of penises in there career, its going to be no different to someone elses. Is he worried that another women is going to look at it? or a man? I know on some occasions you can ask the gender you would prefer to have examine them, but usually it sticks to the gender of the patient. Other than that, he should get help. He can go on with having painful sex if he wants, if he does then dont push him, but if he really doesnt want it then he will at some point realise that he needs treatment. Also it would be a good idea if you stopped pressuring him to go to the doctors, let him think for himself. Hes not a baby and he can take care of himself. Hes probably refussing to go because hes got girls nagging at him, so naturally he will go against them and think 'i dont need to listen to them'.
stop the nagging, give him one last word and tell him you will all support whatever his decision and just leave it at that until he starts to mention it.
A
female
reader, yeahsureyoubetcha  +, writes (19 March 2008):
 Are you embarrassed to go to the dentist if your teeth hurt. He needs to be seen by a Dr. He should not be embarrassed.
The Dr. can't tell anyone about it.
Most likely there will be a treatment that can fix it.
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