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He broke up with me and now wants to be friends. Is this a good idea or not?

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 April 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 14 April 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

So I just got into this relationship and have been with the guy a month. He was telling me a week ago how he was so glad he was my boyfriend and making all these fun plans for us in the summer. Then the next week he was telling me he was confused and knew he was going to hurt me and knows for a fact he doesn't want to marry me. I broke up with him because he told me he knew he didn't want to end up with me and I figured there was no point to us dating. I was just wondering what might have caused him to change and if I did the right thing dumping him. We only broke up a few days ago and he has called me once to tell me happy bday which was sweet. He also told me he wants to still talk and be friends still. I was also wondering if this is a good idea or if I should just stay away from him?

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (14 April 2010):

Not a good idea. When someone can't make their mind up and keeps changing it, then that person has issues that they must deal with. You need to figure out how you feel and get over your break up. What you do not need is him suddenly saying he fancies you again, the hurting you again, or him suddenly deciding that he doesn't want to be friends. time to move on, I think.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (14 April 2010):

chigirl agony auntAre there many feelings involved? If neither of you care all too much for each other romantically it can work fine. But, he might be interested in having you as a friends with benefits, so watch out.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010):

being friends with him all depends on how you feel about him! if you seen him with another girl would it bother you??if you seen him with another woman and it did bother you then it wouldnt be a good idea to be friends cause it will just cause you further hurt! if i was in a relationship with a guy and he told me he couldnt see a future with me id walk away too! u did the right thing..he was giving you mixed signals which show he isnt ready for settling down anyway! so he has done you a massive favour..not many guys would be upfront about that!! just be glad and you got out of that relationship good and early!!..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010):

This guy seems to change his mind like the wind. He might of meant what he said on the phone. I wouldn't spend to much time thinking about it, just leave it with him, if he makes the effort to be friends then all well and good.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (14 April 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntKeep him as a platonic friend because having a friend is more useful than an enemy.

You will never know if somewhere down the road , you may need his help on some matters.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010):

Sta away until you have sorted out your feelings.

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