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He blocks me out. Yet I do everything for him and his children. Is it time to stop being so giving? or break up?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Faded love, Family, Health, Marriage problems, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 October 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 25 October 2012)
A female Australia age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I met him about 4 years ago.

2 years ago we finally got together after both being in love with each other for about a year.

He is about 10 years older than me and has a few kids.

At the start things were perfect.

He was so in love with me and showed me and told me every day.

He used to say how much he couldn't wait to marry me. He used to be excited about having a child with me (I do not have any children yet). I felt so much love from him back then and was so happy.

Only a few months after we got together his feelings started to fade, well that's how it looked to me. He never talked about our future anymore. Didn't say I love you nearly as much as at the start. He just stopped being the amazing man that I fell in love with.

I have tried to talk about the future with him. I still tell him I want to marry him and have a baby with him.

I do everything for him and his children.

Everything that he asks.

I have given him absolutely everything that I have and put everything that I have into this relationship.

It's now been 2 years since we first got together. We never sleep together anymore. He never says I love you anymore. He barely even touches me. But he still claims that he loves me as much as he always has. He still ignores me whenever I try to talk about the future. He ignores me whenever I ask if we can start working towards something (ie. Marriage, Baby, Moving house, etc).

He's never romantic. Never surprises me or tries to make me happy just because he feels like it. I am still always surprising him and doing amazing and romantic things for him. I don't know why.

I have gotten to the point where either he starts making an effort or we break up. I told him that. He is ignoring me. It's like he just doesn't give a damn about us anymore and it is driving me crazy. I can't even get him to answer the question of breaking up or making an effort.

I am so lost and don't know what to do. We own a house together so it's not like I can just leave. It has to be a decision we both make. But he just will not talk to me about anything.

I have been trying for so long and have gotten absolutely nowhere with him. It's like talking to a brick wall. He just totally blocks me out, but still expects me to do everything for him. Make his dinner, his lunch, do his washing, clean up after his children, etc, etc.

What am I supposed to do?

View related questions: fell in love, I love you

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (25 October 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntIs it the case that his behaviour started changing when you and he became closer and closer.... and did s*x?

If "yes," then you have the complete "answer" to your question. Guys act like real angels/sweethearts in our quest to get women to put out.... and, after they have done so, we (can) revert to our "real" selves.... which "self" is commonly rather disinterested in that "object of his affection".... since we've not gotten to where we needed to get (having a se*ual component to the "relationship"), so we can then coast...

Good luck....

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (25 October 2012):

Honeypie agony auntSeems to be that he is either taking you totally for granted (assuming you will stay because you have bonded with his kids) or he hasn't gotten the balls to end it himself and therefore is pushing you to leave, for you to be the "bad guy".

You are not his partner, you are his housekeeper, maid and nanny.. Is that really how you want your future to look?

I think he spoke of marriage in the beginning to hook you, not because he really wanted to get married.

Waiting around for him to be the man you WANT him to be is a wast of time.

Since you own a house together I would suggest you talk to a lawyer and find a way for you to either SELL him your half or put the house of for sale.

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