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He behaves strangely...

Tagged as: Gay relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 June 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 8 June 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, *CEANIS writes:

IS MY GUY BISEXUAL OR GAY ?

Dear friends,

Please advise whether the following hints would make my 20 years senior guy a bisexual:

1. He stopped having sex with his ex wife, when she asked to have sex with him one night, but "he was too exhausted, just couldn't do it.

She REFUSED TO TOUCH HIM EVER SINCE (For abt 15 years till his divorse).

2. His ex wife refused to accompany him to any business or social obligations. She didn't allow him to exit the house over the weekend.

* When a woman suspects there is another woman around, she wants to meet her.

Wnen a woman suspects her guy is a gay, she just gives up trying, and loses interest in him.

3. When they were married she would never cook for him, and would always put him down in front of friends and realtives.

4. When we first met, he was sexually impotent. He said he was divorsed and hadn't "done it" for 15 years. Gradually, he improved radically, BUT: During intimate moments he NEVER touches my breast, although he finds it "perfect". He does not touch or kiss the areas he should. He does not stare at me during sex.

5. He's very good at lying, and he often lies to his sons (who work with him) as to his whereabouts, in order to meet me. He sends false emails to business associates for phony meetings which never take place, in order to see me. He also tells people that he is stuck in traffic, "just to be with me". His lies scared me, as he seems so persuasive !

Once a week or so, he says that he'll go out with his sons, and he won't be able to talk to me for hours.

6. A few days ago, he came to meet me full of sweat, although the weather was cool, and he supposedly drove for over an hour a fully airconditioned car. By the way, his pants were unzipped. That night we had lunch, he did not touch or kiss me like before. Instead, he kept on talking about his Army General.

7. He often talks about his army mates, esp.his General which made his drawing and MADE A SCULPTURE of "my" guy, with a complimenting engraving! His General was a "huge, dark guy" would take him everywhere with him, he would let him share his room or take a shower there. His General promoted him so that "my guy would not undergo a bad treatment with the other guys".

8.For the past 30 years he joins the army one month per annum, with the same old guys. This made his ex wife so jealous / suspecting infidelity, "but then he showed her evidence that indeed he joined the army.

His ex wife and ex mother-in-law verbally abused him every time he returned from "the army boys".

9. When we first met he called me for abt 4 hours a day, but did not propose to take me out, as "he didn't want his sons or friends to know about my age".

10. His Executive Desk is decorated with a huge PINK PLUME (Writing Pen), which he uses all the time.

11. He says that he participates in Conferences "in order to find young, promising guys for employment".

12. He felt betrayed and sad when he recalls hiring two male executives in his office, which "did not respect him, did not obey him, but instead became close mates". They would "giggle behind his back, and eventually they got a job in another office, where they would say the worst things about him".

He claims he lost 100,000 USD due to these two guys, lost his bank savings, but when I estimate their SALARIES X months of employment, it doesn't make any sense.

13 His ex-wife then demanded his financial support, and told him to "find the money one way or another".

14 When the 2 boys left his office, "my guy" was concerned about WHAT THEY WOULD SAY ABOUT HIM, and even had a guy socialise with them, in order to learn what they were saying behind his back.

15. An influential man called him a "Pathetic Executive", and some times asks him in front of others "Are you doin' it or what?"

But "my guy", instead of ignoring him or defending his dignity, voted so that this guy gets a professional Award of Excellency. Doesn't this imply my guy is scared / tries to shut mouths?

16. I once asked him whether some rumors about his sexuality are true (did not suspect him for bysexuality, only for infidelity back then). He promised there is "no other woman", and to prove his innocence we had a conference call with his gay colleague, who confirmed "there is no other woman".

17. He sometimes seems aloof, for no apparent reason. As if he's not interested, as if his mind is elsewhere.

18. When we first met, he talked about all these women friends, all these models, Miss Universe etc, and he calls all his girlfriends and colleagues "Honey, My Love, You're so adorable" and all this nonsense, in a way that is "too much". However, now I suspect he talks this way in order to confuse people.

19. He dives and goes for underwater fishing with male friends to dessert islands. His ex wife detested this, and "did not allow him to go with them".

20. He feels scared of his ex wife, and hesitated to let her know about "us", as "she is so mean, she would say awful things that would ruin his reputation and mine.

PLEASE LET ME KNOW HOW ALL THIS SOUNDS TO YOU.

ALTHOUGH WE BROKE UP, I NEED SOME HONEST ANSWERS AS HE DOES NOT ADMIT HE LIED OR CHEATED.

XXX

View related questions: broke up, ex-wife, his ex, infidelity, jealous, money

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2008):

i read the whole thing each and every word lol..but none of it shows that he is gay none!!!!

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A male reader, Uncle Sneaker United Kingdom +, writes (8 June 2008):

Uncle Sneaker agony auntNo, it doesn't. None of it.

You are seeing what you want to see, picking out events and slanting them to suit your theory, in an effort - conscious or subconscious - to justify to yourself the break-up could not possibly have been your fault.

None of it means he is bisexual or gay.

None of it means he isn't bisexual or gay.

It's over. You've broken up. Move on. His sexuality is no longer any of your business anyway. Don't get yourself hung up on it, because that won't do you any good at all. Think of yourself and your future. That's what matters.

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