A
female
age
22-25,
*injagirl13
writes:well, i met this guy online about 2 wks ago. he msgd me first, and i was so excited. we exchange a few emails, then he gave me is IM name. we works 2nd shift, so we only talk at like 1 am or later. we talked on IM the first nite for 2 hrs. i told him out of 160 he was the only one that caught my eye. he told me there was sumthing about me as well. he said i seem like a cool person, he enjoys talking with me, and i have very nice pics. we exchanged numbers.but then i noticed how i always had to msg him. sometimes i would msg him and he wouldnt respond so i assumed he wansnt interested. i gave it a shot tho and texted him on wednesday saying "hey whats up" he asked "whos this?" i figured since he didnt save my number, he wasnt interested. and i told him this. long story short (kind of) he told me he misses talking with me online. he said he always thinks im sleeping. he also asked me "do u stil want to talk with me. u have me worried" i told him i did, and he said good cuz i want to talk with u as well. when are u free miss *enter my name*. i told him i have no classes fri. he said he goes into work early how about sat. i said that might work. he said "sweet that makes me happy". i told him i had to go but maybe we could talk later and set up details...(no time, place or anything was disscussed)but i talked with him later that nite for about 5 min and nothing was brought up about sat. then he msgd me last nite when i was IDLE and just asked how my day was. basically, i dont think this guy is interested, yet cant understand why he wouldve asked me if im free and said all that stuff. my friend told me to wait for him to bring up sat. but i have other ppl saying that i should bring it up being that he shouldnt have to do all the work. im confused, i dont want to push this guy away, but i need to feel like he is interested and wanting to put effort into me, and im not getting that. so what do i do? IM SO SORRY THIS WAS LONG!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2009): I am talking to soemeone online like that now. he has called me briefly once and we are supposed to meet but I doubt if he will call. I think he is stringing along a bunch of women however, I am not going to call him. He knows where to find me. A lot of men play games and then have a change of heart and ill call you. But I would go out the weekend and try to meet other people. To set up a first meeting id nothing-its just a test to see if you like eachother. If a man can't give you a chance for that forget him. There's always someone to take his place and you might do better. Some men play too hard and some throw away the best women and get stuck and are miserable. Play them back at their game and you can have the power and control. If they like you they'll come around. Personally, since I have not met the man in person nothing ventured nothing gained-just a little time.
A
female
reader, betty_black  +, writes (27 June 2009):
 Ha! Dont worry about it sugar, hes a man, and growing up you will realise that most of them are the same! He's obviously been playing a whole bunch of you along... which im really sorry to say! Dont lose hope tho, youre only young! All i can say about him is, what a wanker!
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A
female
reader, ninjagirl13 +, writes (27 June 2009):
ninjagirl13 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWOW, i'm totally done with this guy!! he got online tonite, and msgd me and was actually talking with me! but, he asked me if i have any fun things planned this wknd, and at this point i knew either he forgot about sat, or he didnt mean it for us to hang. so i said "u mentioned sumthing about sat, but im thinking the reason i thought u were asking me if i was free was wrong". he said i mentioned about talking on the phone, and he asked when i was free so we can talk. i also told him that i would like to talk with him on the phone so he was like "then we should lol!"(i NEVER said anything of the sort, yet he claims i did. seems like he has his women mixed up). but i was honest with him and told him i want to talk with him (y i dont know) but im not convinced he truly wants to talk with me. he said that all he can say is that he looks forward to hearing from me every chance he gets, that he thinks im an interesting person, that he enjoys talking with me but if i dont want to chat with him he understands. then right after that he says that he is going to get going blah blah, cya. i wrote back that im glad to hear he enjoys talking with me. that if this convo didnt scare him off, i look forward to a phone call from him tomorrow. then he signed off, but i had suspicions that he made himself "invisible". so i made myself invisible making him think i was offline, and guess what. not even a minute later, he signs back on!!! looks like he was just trying to ditch me and get out of talking with me. i signed back on tho so he knew i caught him, but didnt say anything to hiim. i am SO DONE! he is so not interested, just doesnt have the balls to tell me that. i feel like giving up on finding "the one". no exaggeration, EVERY guy does this to me. EVERY SINGLE ONE!!!!!
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A
female
reader, dearkelja + ♥, writes (27 June 2009):
 I agree with Eve and Irish...looking back on some experiences I've had, I do think he is a player and what he is getting out of this you ask...an ego boost. He has you at his beckon call. He string you along and play with you like a cat plays with a mouse and I think he is also playing with other women. He says those wonderful things to you because he knows it works on you and that you will keep coming back for more. So, don't go back for more. I agree with the other posters that if you ignore him and he really likes you that he will begin to chase you.
I also think he is playing more than you on the internet. He is probably stringing other women on and that is why he didn't know who you were. There's a better man out there for you. Truly, believe me there is.
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A
female
reader, AskEve + ♥, writes (26 June 2009):
 This is so common of some guys. He's flirting with you but he doesn't intend to go beyond that. He's playing a game with you and telling you what you WANT to hear. I'd say he was a player. He asked you when you were free but was that to talk with online or to go out on an actual date? He enjoys talking with you sooooo much that YOU have to open the conversation. YOU are doing all the running here, YOU'RE talking to him first, YOU called him first and he's never taken the initiative to call you back again. If he was genuine and truly interested in you he wouldn't have let you get away and would have taken the initiative to call you back. Forget this guy, he's one of lifes players and is talking to lots of other girls at the same time. He's NOT for you!
~Eve~
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A
female
reader, ninjagirl13 +, writes (26 June 2009):
ninjagirl13 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni want to thank everyone for all their answers so far. but sadly, i am still so lost. i dont think it should be this hard. as one responder said "i shouldnt have to be guessing whether or not he is into me". i just dont understand what he is gaining by telling me he wants to do sumthing on sat or that he enjoys talking with me, when in fact he doesnt talk to me all that match anyways. what did he get out of that?! i honestly dont think he is into me. part of me does want to ask about sat. what the H*** do i have to lose right? he only gets on late at nite midnite or later. i just dont get it
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A
female
reader, Irish49  + ♥, writes (26 June 2009):
 You may not appreciate my advice, here but I want to be straight up with you. You said your friends told you...he shouldn't have to do all the work. The way I read your posting, YOU are making the efforts and he isn't..right? The guy is either very forgetful or he's just got too many online friends to even remember that he even made this tentative Saturday 'date' with you.
Honestly, you really shouldn't have to chase him down. If you are that unforgetable, he's be doing some of the work here. If you have to do the texting and he doesn't message back, then he loses, bigtime. If this guy truely likes you, he wouldn't keep you confused and guessing, because he'll want to make sure you don't get frustrated and go away.
Look, he doesn't seem shy and you two get along and can talk without any lulls. I see here is a great friendship, in the making. Maybe that is all this will be..we don't know for sure. But one thing I do understand fully is the meaning of that ole saying "if you snooze, you lose". And let me say, guys really, really understand the meaning of this phrase. Even the most insecure, shyest guy will quickly realize, that the dating world is 'cut-throat'. He knows he'll have to muster up the courage to ask a female out, fast and if he doesn't...some other guy will replace him. This guy isn't doing that, so why isn't he ensuring that you and he are meeting?
Listen, sweety--I know you like him. But just try to slow down, girl. And think. When a female says "I'm confused" she's not rationalizing or thinking straight. What's happening is...she's stressing over some guy, and one she met 'online'. Which to me is mere fantasy and it worries me how much efforts and angst, some females put into 'online' guys. He's not real, yet. It's just been you and a computer, talking here. So why the stress, the worry? No one should have that kind of power over you, I don't care who he is. Stop calling/messaging him. He knows where you are, he has your number, he can email and message you. Takes just a few minutes out of a busy day, doesn't it? You've done enough.
Your posting makes me think of something I read once. "Men have traits in them that women would be really, really smart to adapt to" And that is, men don't put all their eggs in one basket. They leave openings and they know how to keep it all in perspective. They seem to have the courage to persist through doubts, failures and hurt and stay strong/steady. Women need to think 'like a man' so retain their sanity through these periods of self-doubts.
Firstly, this guy is able to do this, because he may know how to 'play the game'. You however, don't. But you can change all that by dropping your angst, your insecurities and take this, day by day. The key to getting this man to take note of you, is to play it cool and to be a a classy, interesting, confident woman. Do you have a great life beyond him,? Do you have other interests? A lot of 'real life' friends? These things are 'things' a lot of guys like in females. He wants a woman who has...a good solid life and doesn't NEED him. And if you are needy, he will spot it a mile away. Men are no dummies. They absolutely hate seeing neediness in women.
So you ask..what do you do? Step away from the phone/computer and get out with friends in the 'real world' and have fun. Under no circumstances are you to call or text him. Resist. If this guy likes you as you say he does, I guaruntee, that within one week, he will message/call you. And when he does, still be you, be happy, positive and be ...busy but yes, make a date and make him work hard for you. After all, you are worth the hard efforts he will have to do, to get you. Grab his attention and if he doesn't take note of you...move onto the next wonderful guy, who will.
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A
female
reader, betty_black +, writes (26 June 2009):
Well a guy i met online kept saying we should meet up and i really wanted to but he kept ignoring me until i just rang him and said right im coming to meet you tomorrow, be there and it worked! I think you just need to be straight out with him, just say look are we meeting on Saturday or not cos i dont know whats going on! He may have forgotton or may be wanting you to bring it up!
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A
female
reader, ErinPatterson +, writes (26 June 2009):
I would let it go myself but hey you never know...text him about saturday and if it kinda wishy woshy..forget it and move on..they internet is a crazy place to meet people so be careful and if you do meet with him, make sure it is at a resteraunt..and be safe.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja + ♥, writes (26 June 2009):
Dating in this day and age takes two. The internet is a vast array of options and perhaps he's busy with others as well. If it were me and he hadn't brought it up, I'd text or call and say..."are we on for Sat? if so, want to firm up plans?" If you don't get a response, go with friends and forget him.
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A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga + ♥, writes (26 June 2009):
 Ask him i am not saying he has forgotten but stranger things have happened call him and ask are you still on for sat!
Gina
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A
female
reader, cherry cherry boom boom +, writes (26 June 2009):
You shouldn't worry just ask him and if you ask and he still doesn't tell you don't wait for him just go out with your friends. This ya girl, peace.
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