A
female
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anonymous
writes:Help! How could I have been so wrong about his flirting behavior, he knows I like him and backed off? Is there any chance that he will go back to wanting what I thought he wanted?This guy I work with started flirting with me as soon as he was put on my team at work, and he started flirting with only me, then he found out I had a boyfriend and he looked like he was gonna cry, and he became my boss so I did not want to encourage him...but all of his attention was winning me over, and my relationship with the other guy ended because I wanted it to, and was never all that serious to begin with....and then he asked me the other day, why I did not like him, that it bothered him when someone did not like him (and to my knowledge I had given him no indication that I did not like him) and when he said why don't you like me? I said, well maybe it is because I like you too much. Then he said "Weird" and ran off and ignored me the rest of the night, and started flirting with every other girl on our team...in fact his flirting behavior with other women at work has accelerated, and his focus on me has sort of stopped....he could get in trouble for dating someone on his team, but he could date me if I was on another team....and earlier before the why don't you like me incident occurred, he asked who I might want to work with other than him, and he asked specifically which supervisor I preferred over the other two, which was kind of weird, because I have not done anything where he would want to git rid of me off of his team....And by the way, we do not work in an office environment, this all sounds very high school because it is, we all cut up and joke around a lot it is more like circus than a job sometimes.I guess my question is, is this backing off thing predictable, or am I done here? By the way, I am more than 10 years older than him, but once a long time ago, he seemed to think I should "give him some credit" when I said I would not date anyone so young as him.
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female
reader, Irish49  + ♥, writes (22 December 2006):
 It's funny you should mention 'high school'..because quite honestly, that's the first thing I thought when I read your posting! :) But for you to say that dear, it indicates to me that you are trying to hang onto a semblance of maturity and class about all this and it's not happening! If you state you are 10 years older than him, I have assume you are aged very late 20's or 30's?Then you are old enough not to get wrapped in this juvenile scenario with this fellow.
I think you just made the common error of allowing yourself to wrapped in the attentions of a very immature man. He wanted you-he loved the challenge and when you came available..the pursuit was not fun anymore. So he moved on. Simple as that. So what does that tell you about him? So now, the question shouldn't be-- is he done with you? What you should be doing is using your head and telling yourself ' I don't need his games...I'm done with him!' Glad you told him you wouldn't date anyone as young (and silly) as he is. This guy is a just a young buck having fun and playing with people's feelings. My suggestion: move on and go find a more worthier, more mature, adult male that you can create something loving and wonderful with.
A
female
reader, Emistar +, writes (22 December 2006):
I think that you need to forget about him, don't give him the attention! if he is flirting with other girls don't get annoyed at him just think to yourself that you don't need him to get through life.
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A
female
reader, charmed4eva353 +, writes (22 December 2006):
 first thing men mature at least 2 years slower than women do always remember that. what you should do is pull this guy up and talk to him and ask him what he wants. I think all he wanted was probably just a bit of fun nothing serious so dont go thinking its something you have done. He may think he is matur enough for a relationship. I no he is your boss but he cannot fire you just because your dont want a relationship with him. you need to talk to him and make sure he understands the way you feel.
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