A
female
age
30-35,
*bhdt x
writes:So i have been seeing this guy for about two months now and he is really nice he treats me right and even gets a little jealous when i talk to other men which i find really cute but the problem is i really like someone else and i dont know what to do!! I do like the guy i am seeing but i like the other guy more but he wants nothing to do with me!! I am really confused as i feel like i should make more of an effort to like him as he treats me right and thats not something ive had in the past! But i also dont want it to be forced and for me to be secretly wanting another man at the same time because thats not fair! I really need some advice as i really dont know what to do!
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (9 July 2015):
 I'm with Notsohappy
I say neither. The one you are with, is NOT who you WANT to be with, so it's NOT fair to string him along, just so YOU won't be single. And I agree with SCV, him being jealous is NOT cute.
The second you you pine for is NOT into you, accept that. HIS loss. But don't WASTE time or energy chasing a guy who doesn't want you. It makes you do things you normally wouldn't do.
So I say neither guy. Find someone YOU want to be with who in turn WANTS to be with you as much.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2015): I second SVC.
Arghhh, it does always seem to be so-the one I want does not want me,but at the same time there are guys falling all over me that I am not even a teeny bit interested in.
Just enjoy your life and go find someone that you like+likes you back.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 July 2015):
 If it feels like you always are wanted by the one you don't want and the one you want does not want you... hang in there eventually it will synch.
In this case, you need to end it with the guy you are seeing for several reasons.
His jealousy is justified. Jealousy is an emotion rooted in insecurity and I am betting that he can't put his finger on WHY he feels insecure with your relationship but based on the fact that you want a different man he's picking up the subconscious subtle clues that tell him you are not in it for the long haul but rather until you can find Mr. Right.
Irrational jealousy is NOT cute. it's not flattering. Jealousy is not about love.
I would suggest you give up on the guy you want who does not want you and I would also suggest that you let the one you are seeing as a place holder go. His jealousy will over time NOT be cute or flattering. Better to break up now as friends than have an ugly break up later on.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (9 July 2015):
 Isn't it great to have two guys scuffling over you?????
NOW.... grow up and decide which of the two you prefer... cast your lot with him.... and let the other (guy) go....
THAT is how adults handle such a situation......
Good luck.....
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 July 2015):
 Hi! I think the thing to do is to stop dating the guy you are seeing now! As you don't feel the way he does and he gets jealous if you talk with other men! Imagine if he knew you would rather be with this other guy right now! It's not fair to him if you are stuck on another guy! You can't make an effort to like someone better, but you can make an effort to be fair to him! So let this one drop back into the dating pool while you sort out the reasons why you'd keep holding a torch for a guy who wants nothing to do with you!
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