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Having so many mixed feelings about my relationship with my guy! What should I do?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 June 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 2 July 2007)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

It'll be a year in a week that my boyfriend and I have been together. We are currently living together, and I'm not exactly ok with it. I am very catholic and this keeps crashing into my moral nerve. We did it mostly b/c it's easier financially on both of us since we're both college students. I am still a virgin, and he intends to keep me that way. No one has ever respected me the way he does. Our relationship started like a fairy tale, but we've had a really rough run. I don't know if we can make it. Since Day #1 he talked about a future w/ me, he's even named our kids... but I can't see it happening! Sometimes I feel that we're too different, that life will somehow split us apart. I don't know what to think, I keep telling myself to take it day-by-day... what do I make out of all these mixed feeling?? And just for reference, I have never loved someone like I love him. This is one of those that are indescribable. I'm having a war between my feelings and reality!!

View related questions: still a virgin

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well, I'd have to say that this situation has very much changed. It got worse before it got better, but you can't have a rainbow without rain. I caught him in a string of lies... senseless lies at that, which lead to a big big conversation and an ultimatum. I told him that I love him more than anything, but I cannot be truthful to myself if allow myself to be lied to. So, it was either the lies, or the truth. He realized how pointless lying to me was, especially when all it was doing was putting a weight on his shoulders that didn't exist. For example, he started a new job and he'd been without a paycheck for a while. He thought that telling me he started a week earlier would make me feel better. On the contrary, I caught him sleeping on the couch one day when I came home for lunch! He would wake up extra early and do a regular morning routine just to make me believe he was off to work. That seriously wouldn't have bothered me, the job thing that is. The lie... well, he knows he has to regain my trust. It's been very hard for me. I fell into a bit of a depression b/c I can't stand not trusting, but I can't force myself, i just can't!

He is planning a big surprise for me, and taunts me about it every day telling me it's much less than I what I deserve, but it's all he has the means to at the moment. He really is trying to regain my trust and I can see it. My gut has never steered me wrong. I just KNOW when someone is lying to me, and he's never been more truthful.

I can say I'm back on the road of happiness.

"Happiness is not a destination, but a journey."- Anonymous

Thanks to all for your help!!

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A female reader, chrissy32789 United States +, writes (7 June 2007):

chrissy32789 agony aunthun this man really respects you it is so hard to find a man who wants to keep his gf a virgin,and specially a yr and more, it sounds like you have been hurt befor and you dont want to leave this man but you are afraid that somethin is going to happen, but just go out by yourself or with your friends and think about it maybe you just need time for yourself to think about it, just take it day by day and see where it goes, you cant tell the future but you can take it day by day and see where you end out....good luck and i hope it all works out

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