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Having a baby-should I stay with him?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Pregnancy, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 June 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 27 June 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Should you stay with someone, just because you are having their baby?

Hi, me and my ex boyfreind broke up late last year. We were together for a very long time, and i truly loved him, however i broke up with him, as i wasnt happy in the relationship and he wasnt bringing out the best in me.I rencently started going out with someone eles, at first it was amazing, he is completely different to my ex, and he is such a nice and caring person. I am lucky to find people who are so caring. The thing is, for the past couple of weeks, im starting to loose feelings for him, i dont know why or how, but i know i am. However since me and my ex broke up, we have never lost contact, and more recently ive started to have feelings for him again. (my feelings for him, were shadowed with feelings of hatred before, untill we both sat down and talked about why we 'hated' each other, and now we are getting on really well again). But the problem is, i am now pregnant with my current boyfreind. We were using protection, however i was unaware that taking anti-biotics, could interfere with the pill. My current boyfreind knows how i feel, and so does my ex, my ex also knows that I am pregnant. My current boyfreind, wants to stay with me, and do this together. My ex is willing to also be with me, and accepts that my current boyfreind will be a large part of our babies life, and will always be around. I really dont know what to do. However im starting to think, that i dont want to be with any of them, and i should concentrate on me and my baby. However i cant seem to imagine a life without my ex in it, someway or another, so maybe we should just be freinds..arrrr im so confused :(

View related questions: broke up, my ex, the pill

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A female reader, lovesweetangel2 United States +, writes (27 June 2009):

Wow, first of all I will say good luck, this won't be an easy decision at all. In my opinion no, if you are trying to make a relationship work just for a baby it's still not going to work but may end up hurting your baby more in the long run. Also, do you think you're losing your feelings for your current boyfriend because of your ex? It sounds like probably your ex was your first "true love" and yes, you'll never forget them or lose your full feelings for them and unless for sure you know he has changed and will treat you with respect I personally wouldn't go there either. Also for the kid, do you want them growing up thinking that's ok too. And you're friends now with your ex, who says you need to get rid of him completly, either just stay friends or explain you want to take it slow maybe. Hope that helps and seriously...good luck!

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A female reader, Starlights United Kingdom +, writes (27 June 2009):

Starlights agony auntyou really need some time out away from both of them to think what u really want.

you sound really confused and the danger now is your having a baby so u have to think whats best for it in the long term future.

try giving urself some time out and make ur mind up once after the baby is born.

dont rush urself.

u might just want to stay alone for a while til you sort your head out with the raging harmones.

im sure if they both love you they will give you your own space to work out what u want.

but its not fair u keep both of them as one of them needs to move on.

good luck!

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