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Haven't seen him for years but I want him to see me now

Tagged as: Crushes<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 November 2013) 6 Answers - (Newest, 20 November 2013)
A female Australia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hey everyone,

When I was 18 I met this guy on a social networking site we spoke for 6 months day in day out and he came to my city to meet,we just kissed nothing else happened..but I must add however superficial this might sound I wasn't a pretty teen very skinny,lean but now I'm 25 and I'v grown to be a very attractive woman and I get a lot of attention from men and I always get asked by random strangers or even my friend if I'm a model the reason I'm saying this is at that age we were both young and I think he dint make an effort with me because I wasn't really that appealing.. But I really want him to see me now,Its been years since we have spoken I had changed my number and I dint give him..but he has the same number and when I saw his on my whatsapp messenger I'm tempted to text him because earlier I was in a different city very soon I'l be going to his city so I was thinking if I shld text him!but I'm scared he won't respond..if I shld text him then what shld I say? I just want to meet him once however ridiculous this sounds..thanks

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (20 November 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntYou say he didn't make the effort because you were not appealing... are you SURE that's why he didn't make the effort... you may find out it was something that didn't change that turned him off and that would burst your bubble.

I think you want to see him so he can see what he missed out on.... if the reason you two did not work out was personality or ethical beliefs those have not changed and the outcome would be the same.

If the reason was how you looked, do you really want to be with such a shallow person?

I say go for it... otherwise you will always wonder.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2013):

If I hadn't done the same thing once myself, I'd be a hypocrite to say anything that would deny you the opportunity.

Go for it! This is several years later, and he has changed also. Just keep it safe. If you meet, please be sure it's in a very public location like a coffee shop or cafe. He may not be the awkward boy you first met.

Your story is inspirational; because we know how growing up, we don't realize our teen years of development is just a preview of things to come. Not the final product. Our bodies develop over-time, and we become more confident about our appearance. We're awkward, and funny-looking at first. We hardly know what self-esteem is. Seems everyone else got all the breaks when it comes to looks.

It's important that you also maintain good character, and a sparkling and sincere personality congruent with your attractive appearance.

I wore glasses. I felt my body looked more feminine than male, and I had a squeaky voice. I got teased a lot in high school by boys. They called me "pretty." It hurt a lot. I kept it inside. Never said anything about it. Girls were always very sweet to me. It made me tough, just the same.

I went into the Air Force, and attended a famous military college after that. They shaped my mind and body. I was a fine specimen thanks to the armed forces and that military college. When I returned home, people hardly recognized me. Those guys who teased me could only look in awe, and the envy was totally obvious. I kept up the tradition of healthy food and exercise to this day. However; I want people to like me for the guy I am. I work hard to stay level-headed, and to be kind to people. I've experienced good things and bad things. I see things from all sides.

Good luck! Stay balanced. It's not just about looks. Beauty fades with time. Inner-beauty lasts a lifetime.

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A female reader, sugarplum786 South Africa +, writes (19 November 2013):

sugarplum786 agony auntYou want to contact him, because you still have a torch burning for him.

No one would give an "ex" that much thought if they still did not have some feeling. If you like him, go ahead and tell him you are in town, does he want to meet for coffee? Nothing ventured nothing gained.

Keep it casual and just a cup of coffee.

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A female reader, shna Ireland +, writes (19 November 2013):

shna agony auntWhy would you want to develop a relationship with somebody who treated you like that?

I guess it couldnt hurt to get back into contact with this guy! Remember its a few years later now he could be in a relationship BUT he could also be single ... Everything happens for a reason

But i think you should go for it !!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (19 November 2013):

Honeypie agony auntYou just want to show him that you grew into a gorgeous woman? Not really that strange.

Did he stop the contact because he didn't find you pretty enough, you think? If so I would absolutely NOT contact him. Because then he is (or at least was) a superficial dude not worth your time.

It's been 7 years, why do you think it's so important to you to "show" him that you grew up into a pretty young woman? Why even care what he thinks?

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A female reader, fat hen India +, writes (19 November 2013):

try meeting may be he has also changed..

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