A
female
age
18-21,
futurequite
writes: Funny, most of my guy friend i don`t know if its a curse but i sleep with most of them and for some reason they encourage me: I met this guy he told me he had admired me for some time now, we agreed to be real good friends to talk bout anything. So he told me i can ask him anything, so my responds was do you have a g/f i was stuned on the reply, knowing that he told me he like me for sometime now his answer was yes, i said really, he yes but they`re in problems. Well he knows i have a b/f also so there not really a problem but that same night in talking he couldn`t stand having me here and looking at the same girl he`d like for some time now, so he wanted to kiss me but i said no i can`t we now met. Now, my intension that day was not focus on sex or anything like that but his was. We end up having sex anyway. There are three of my friends this has already happened to with me, so it might always happen, i can`t have female friends cause i hate them i rather male cause i think they tend to understand better. Well my problem is that i`m 19 he`s 28, every time i say it would never happen again with anyone it does, what to do i always ask myself that, does it have anyone here with the same problem, please post!! Reply to this Article |
You can add your comments or thoughts to this article A
male
reader, Chemer  +, writes (21 November 2007):
 I agree with the fact that its probably a self esteem issue. You may feel that your guy friends will not like you or stay with you unless you sleep with them. You may feel short self worth for the fact that they want to have sex with you. But then after you probably feel guilty and just as lonely.
As a Male I have done the same. I get on better with Women. This has caused loads of problems for my relationships. I feel appreciated when I have fun with women I know. But then I feel used afterwards. Don't get me wrong its fun whilst it lasts, but then after I just feel that they will go back to their boyfriends or whatever and I am left frustrated.
There is one woman I know that has a boyfriend. We started off as friends and she was not interested in me when I had nobody. The minute I got someone she wanted to see me. Now she says its cause she knows that with someone I won't want her and that there can never be any chance with her. That its just fun cause her boyfriend doesn't give her any like he used to.
I feel lonely and rejected after. Don't get me wrong I love the person I am with. But this woman is a beautiful blond. So I ended up sleeping with her. I felt appreciated cause I got to sleep with her. But then she told me it was just as friends.
So I see where you are coming from.
Steve
A
female
reader, iwillhelp  +, writes (9 November 2007):
 Ok i do have the same prolem girl i am 19 also and i got a BF but i tend to sleep with my guy friends I hate myself for it everytime yea its fun as im doing it but i regret it after wards we arent sluts we got a problem so email me .............
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2007): I agree with Yos... this also happened to me. I was so interested in male attention that I had sex just to feel appreciated or loved. This, however, has a big price to pay. You might start feeling guys only want you for sex, which is not a good feeling. You deserve someone to love you for you and not just for sex. After awhile, they will leave and you'll feel even lonelier than before. You have control on when to have or not to have sex... use it!! You deserve better.
...............................
A
female
reader, thedirtybubble +, writes (6 November 2007):
 Have you ever heard the phrase, "You want only what you cannot have"? This is true. I know this from personal experience. Its perfectly fine to flaunt it, but don't give it away. Because you have made these choices to sleep with your male friends is more then likely the reason you don't have many girlfriends. How can you have a girlfriend and be friends with both her and her boyfriend and not sleep with her boyfriend? I have done my fare share of dirt but if you don't make better choices and have more self respect, your future relationships will not have much success.
...............................
A
male
reader, Rey +, writes (5 November 2007):
 Yos gave you very good advice. I agree with him.
...............................
A
male
reader, Yos  + ♥, writes (1 November 2007):
 Have you thought about your self esteem as a possible reason for why you are behaving like this?
If you had no intention of having sex, but did anyway, it suggests you don't have good self esteem. It can make you feel you have to do what a man wants in order to get attention and friendship / love from him. In the long run this will be very bad for you...
My girlfriend was similar to you like this until she reached over 30 years old, by that point she had done many things she regretted and was very unhappy with her life. Although she is now improving, the fact she left it so late is making it much more difficult for both of us.
Here is a book i recommend you read. If you find that you identify with the book, then please talk to a councillor or therapist.
The book is called:
"Breaking the chain of low self esteem", by Marilyn Sorensen.
Please read a copy.
...............................
|
